Just a few snapshots of my Christmas decorations
Bennett’s first Christmas Ornament^
Bennett’s salt dough foot print
Bennett’s salt dough hand print
My ornament for 2014
A reminder that just a year ago we were on a cruise to 4 different countries not even thinking about kids…. now look at us.
If you have more than one kid, you’re going to laugh at me about this post. I can see you now, chuckling and shaking your head.
From day one, Bennett has pretty much been with me 24/7. He is breastfed every 2-3 hours during the day which means I can’t go too far without being back to feed him. So, you can understand my anxiety as a first time mom to leave my baby. I remember the first time I left Bennett with Patrick to go jean shopping. Or the first time I put him in his crib to nap during the day. It’s a weird feeling of loneliness that happens… at least it was for me. I get so use to having him around that when he isn’t, it feels really weird.
The past 3 months, we have brought Bennett to church a few times but I just wasn’t ready to leave him in the nursery so I would wear him in the moby. We were mostly avoiding germs and large crowds but since he will be three months on Christmas day, we decided it was time to get back to our normal church going routine. This past Saturday, we decided that Sunday was going to be the day we left him for the first time. It is such a first mom thing to be so hesitant to drop of your child but I was literally fighting off anxiety thinking about leaving him. I had nightmares the night before. Can you believe I actually lost sleep over it?!?! I knew the ladies in the nursery were completely competent to take care of Mr. B but my heart was seriously struggling with the idea.
Sunday morning came and Patrick was pep talking me through dropping him off. “Let’s not traumatize him by making a big deal out of it. Just say goodbye and go.” Say goodbye and go?!?! What if he needs me? What if something goes horribly wrong and I’m not there? What if he is starving and they don’t know he’s hungry so they just let him cry. These were all things that were racing through my head as I got our family ready for church.
Mr. B was exhausted by the time we arrived at church so I pulled him out of his car seat, half asleep and walked us to the nursery. This was it. I was leaving him for the first time. I was greeted by two amazing nursery workers who I KNEW would take good care of my baby. I handed my love bug over to them, they took my diaper bag and it was time to leave him.
I walked out and left him and I went to service with Patrick. It was like a mini date. I’m not going to lie though, I checked the clock every five minutes. I received a text from my good friend Allison during service who helped me conquer the emotions of the drop off of Mr. B, “You’re gonna make it mama, no worries!”.
By the time service was almost over and it was time for me to go feed Bennett, I was so excited to see how his first nursery experience was. He was still asleep in the arms of a nursery worker whenever I returned. My heart was happy. He didn’t even realize that I had left him. My anxiety had vanished and life was good.
I know you’re laughing hysterically at me now that I have admitted my anxiety over such a small event but yesterday felt like conquering a mountain!
It was quite the adventure for me but he didn’t even know it.
![20141221_180544[1]](https://relbotadventures.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/20141221_1805441.jpg)
Tomorrow is the 6 year anniversary of when my life was completely changed. Six years ago, I came home from a horrible day only to be greeted by one of the worsts events of my young life. My dad passed away of a heart attack 6 years ago. I was only 17, still a senior in high school and it was only 6 days before Christmas.
I remember the night so vividly, painfully clear. I actually dressed up for school and joyfully celebrated Christmas break in all of my classes. Then after a series of events that led to tears and a horrible work day, I ended up skipping a bonfire with friends and heading home to sleep the day off. I always knew that no matter how hard the day is, a good nights sleep can fix it all.
I arrived at home at around 9 oclock, headed straight upstairs and crawled into my bed. I just needed a new day. I was in that state of sleep where you’re half awake and halfway into dream world when I heard my mom screaming. Something was very wrong. I jumped out of bed, stumbled to throw a sweatshirt on and literally flew down the stairs. I was greeted by fire fighters and ambulance workers running to my parents room. Ok. Something is seriously wrong.
My dad had collapsed and was on the bedroom floor in my parents room. In the chaos, I just wanted to run. I wanted to get away from the craziness of them working on my dad. My mom had me call my brother who was at his girl friends at the time. First call, no answer. Second call, he knew something was wrong. I stumbled with my words but he got the point. He was on his way home.
I needed to get out of the house so my friend Joni, who lived a few streets away, came and picked me up and brought me to her home to distract me during the wait. I wasn’t wearing shoes, still in my pj’s and emotionally unstable. She turned on a movie and we waited. My phone rang and my mom asked me to hand the phone to Joni. Joni disappeared behind the bathroom door and when she came out, I already knew by the look in her eyes. “You’re dad didn’t make it. You have the choice to stay here or go home.” I stood up and used every curse word I knew towards God. Why me? Why my family? Why my dad? My dad was a good man. I chose to go home.
She drove me to my street. We pull up to fire trucks, police cars and ambulances. The flashing lights illuminate the cold December night. The car stopped and I flung the door open and ran barefooted, tears in my eyes towards my home. A neighbor stopped me and grabbed my shoulders and said, “This is where your faith becomes real.” I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted to get inside to my mom and brother.
We cried and hugged for the first time as a family of three. Then it was time to make a very hard and serious decision for a 17 year old. Do I want to go in to my parents room and say goodbye to my dad. I had a very short time to make such a life long decision. I retreated to the quietness of my room with the hum of our lives changing downstairs. I chose not to say goodbye to my dad. The last thing my dad said to me was, “I love you, have a good day” as I ran out the door that morning trying not to be late for first period. I wanted that happy memory instead of the last image of my dad downstairs. It was a tough decision that I would have to live with for the rest of my life and I honestly don’t regret my choice.
As they took my dad away, I sat in my room trying to comprehend how the past few hours had completely changed my life. Patrick stayed on the phone with me until late in the morning. My mom held me and I cried. I was angry with God but the only thing that brought me comfort was John Mark Mcmillans, How He Loves.
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all
I put the song on repeat. I needed to hear that God loved me during the darkest night my 17 year old life had experienced.
Oh how He loved me. Oh how He loved me. Oh how He loved me.
Faith was the only way I was going to get through the next hours… days… weeks.
My mom and brother kept our household together after my dad passed. I will admit that I ran. Literally and figuratively. Shoes to pavement and it was the only way I could clear my mind. It was the only time that I wasn’t the girl who had just lost her dad. It was the only time I felt free from the suffocating truth that my life had just taken a HUGE turn. I woke up the next morning in tears that I didn’t want the life that was unfolding for me. I wanted a different story.
Fast forward 6 years. I love the story that has unfolded. Do I miss my dad? More than anything. Since Bennett has arrived, I have cried more tears of missing him than I have in the past 6 years. I wish more than anything that my dad would have met Patrick and Bennett. There has been so much beauty in my life in the past 6 years and I wish that my dad could have been here to see it all.
A few hours before my dad passed away, he went on a walk with my brother. He said, “When I die, I want people to remember the good that I have done. Not how much money I had or the house I lived in, but that I was a good man”. We didn’t know that he would pass away unexpectedly a few hours later. My dad was an amazing, kind and gentle man. I see his joyful smile in Bennett sometimes. I know he would be giggling if he ever had the chance to hold my love bug.
So, if you have had darkness and hard times, know that there is still beauty waiting for you in your story. Life is still good even after your world falls a part. God is still good and faithful even after you think He has left you. He never leaves, He never stops loving you, He never will forsake you. He gives strength to those who are weak. He gave me strength to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.
I am brought back to a dark night in my room every time How He Loves is played on the radio. I also am reminded about God’s overwhelming love, comfort and peace. I pray that you find that love, comfort and peace if you’re story isn’t unfolding exactly how you planned for it to. Keep moving forward. Beauty awaits.
The last picture I have with my dad.
I didn’t know that 12 weeks ago I would fall so head over heels in love with a little boy.
I didn’t know how fiercely I would love him and how much I would LOVE being his mom, even on the “i’m so exhausted” days.
I didn’t know that I would love seeing him grow and learn so much. Seriously…. everything he does is cute.
I didn’t know how fast he would grow up.
I didn’t know that I would lay awake, staring at the monitor trying to see if he was breathing.
I didn’t know that being a mom requires complete selflessness. It’s serving without any reserve.
I didn’t know how much laundry a little boy produces.
I didn’t know that his smile would completely melt my heart.
I didn’t know that hearing him cry would make me want to hold him so tight that we both might feel better.
I didn’t know how much I would want to protect him.
I didn’t know how much he would make me laugh.
I didn’t know the level of exhaustion and hard work it requires to be a mom.
I just didn’t know.
2 months
12 Weeks
My husband calls me determined but it also could be called stubborn. Either way, when I set my mind on something, I do whatever I have to, to make sure it happens.
For example, I’m not the girl to make hair appointments months in advance or keep to a regular hair care schedule. I get an urge to get my hair cut and I typically call the salon and get a same day appointment with whoever is available. Well, the last time I got the urge to cut my hair it was on a Sunday. Usually this isn’t a big deal because my typical salon is open and usually slow on Sundays. Well, I called and the first available appointment was on a Wednesday. Nope, wasn’t going to work. I needed one that day for several reasons. One – I had Patrick with me all day to watch Bennett. Two – I wanted a haircut that day and not three days later. Darn you Spa by Mitchells for being busy! I called probably 10 other salons before finally finding one that was open and had same day availability. I won. I succeeded. My determination prevailed and I was able to get my hair cut. 🙂
So, this past Saturday I had the major urge to chop off my hair again. This time I REALLY wanted a haircut though. So, i called Spa by Mitchells and got a busy tone. I hung up, tried again. “The number you are trying to reach is temporarily unavailable, please hang up and try again”. Hung up and tried again. I repeated this probably fifteen times. I waited 30 minutes and then tried another 15 times. All the while, Patrick is telling me to stop trying because obviously their phone wasn’t working. Nope, not going to stop until I get my haircut! I finally call their other location to find out why their Raleigh locations phone wasn’t working. Well… SURPRISE! The store had shut down. Permanently. WHAT?! So, then I posted on WF community page asking for other Salon recommendations. Patrick then jokes by saying, “When you really want something, you do whatever it takes to make it happen…. like calling a disconnected number 30 times in hopes that it won’t be broken the next time you call!” We both laughed, but it’s true. I’m determined… or stubborn.Whatever you want to call it. Either way, I ended up finding a new salon and will be chopping my hair off tomorrow. 🙂
So, what does getting my haircut have to do with anything? Well, more so the characteristic of determination and how it fits into my life and our family. Let me see if I can make a smooth segway into what I’m trying to get across. So after Patrick pointed out my determination, I started thinking about how I can use my determination and how I already use it for other things than getting myself a haircut. Obviously, I use my determination when I run Miss Jee’s but since I’m currently on maternity leave, this will be more about my family life.
Two nights ago, Bennett woke up an hour and a half before his usual middle of the night feeding. So here it was, 2 am and I was wide awake. Usually I surf pinterest, instagram, or facebook because they are mindless activities and half the time I’m only awake enough to change a diaper and feed B. Well, I don’t know where this came from, but I started thinking about what the vision for my life was. What were my goals? What do I want to focus my determination on? Patrick is finishing up his schooling in 8 short months so we have been talking a lot about what’s next for him… but my question is what’s next for me? I’m a mom now. What is God calling ME to do in this new season. I couldn’t stop thinking about it even after I had crawled back into bed.
Last night while laying on the floor with Bennett, I hesitantly admitted to Patrick, “I feel like I have no vision for my life. I feel like I have no goals that I’m working towards.” That is hard for me to admit for two reasons. One, I’m the type of person who likes a plan. Two, it’s admitting that I don’t have it all together. My husband had a vision for his life. He saw that his last job wasn’t taking him towards that vision so he changed it. In my eyes, he’s brave, confidant and knows what he wants. He is an encouragement for me to dream big. Work towards my dreams. But what is my dream? What is my vision? It hasn’t been this way forever but my vision and goals have changed since having Bennett and I guess I am at a loss at what this next chapter is suppose to look like. My dreams and goals are changing and morphing and I’m still figuring out how to properly outline my new vision.
So, as I am admitting that I’m lacking a clear vision for myself, Patrick makes a profound statement about the vision for our family. You see, Patrick has a vision for his life, I have one for my life and they should cohesively come together to help form one for our family. With two separate visions that don’t intertwine in some way it creates di-vision. Division. Patrick and I started stating things we want to do personally and things we want to do as a family. We started shaping and forming the vision for our family now that Bennett is here. How can we serve the Lord passionately as a family? As individuals? Realistically, what does that look like? Just going to church on Sunday? No. So what does that mean? What do we need to do to make our vision of serving the Lord as a family, come to life. What are our goals as a family? What are my goals as a mom? As a wife? As a daughter to the King?
I’m not saying I have figured this all out, but I’m thinking about it and wanted to share. What is the vision for your family? What do you want to do in this life as a family? What do you want to do personally? Do you have goals you’re working towards? Do you need goals? Do you need to tweak your vision or change your goals?
How can I use my determination to accomplish the vision that we decide for our family? How can I use my determination when it comes to loving people? All things I’m thinking about.
I want to be a mom who shows the love of Christ through my parenting. Who raises a son who fearlessly loves and serves the Lord. I want to be a wife who supports, encourages and loves her husband without expectations. I want to be the woman who serves without reserve. Forgives like Christ forgave. Loves without hesitation. I want to be the business woman who shows Christs love in every encounter with clients.
I want to faithfully take our family wherever God calls us, without doubt or fear.
Am I successful at all of those things every time? No.
They are all things I’m working towards that will shape the overall vision I have for my life.
What’s cding? Cloth Diapering! We have been in cloth for several weeks now and I thought I would voice my opinions!
Overall verdict? We love it!
We use three types of diapers on Bennett. Here are my thoughts on what we use.
Bumgenius All-in-ones:
http://www.bumgenius.com/style/bumgenius-freetime/
Grovia All-in-two
http://www.gro-via.com/hybrid-cloth-diapers.html
Kawaii Pure and Natural
http://www.theluvyourbaby.com/pure-natural-0-15-months/
What we love about cloth diapering so far:
Things I don’t like:
The two most helpful things that I have learned:
The Fluff and Cloth Diaper science facebook page has been so helpful with making sure I have a good wash routine and answering a million of my questions.
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5EtTYQJWAU&app=desktop
How to properly fit your cloth diapers. There are a ton of snaps on an all in one, so finding out how to properly put it on was the most helpful things to prevent leaks for us.
We still use disposables at night since Bennett is sleeping close to 8 hours for his first stretch of sleep. I know there are a million ways we could cloth diaper at night but it’s not worth the hassle of fighting leaks and figuring out what works and doesn’t work. Other than that, cloth is our first choice! Let me know if you have any questions about what has worked for us and what hasn’t!
Happy diapering. 🙂
My sweet, sweet Bennett,
Happy 2 months! What a joy you are. Nothing could have prepared me for how much I have fallen in love with you. Your dad and I are loving every moment we have with you. In 24 days, since your last appointment, you grew an inch and a half and were 2 oz’s shy of gaining 2 lbs!!! Growing like a healthy weed. 🙂 You have officially outgrown all of your newborn clothes and last night I put on one of your 3 month pj’s and it looks like you’ll be outgrowing that one soon as well. 2 months have flown by and everyday seems like a new adventure. You are constantly learning, exploring, and growing. Yesterday during bath time, you started to try and kick the floating duck as you kicked your feet. Have I mentioned how much you LOVE bath time? Full of smiles and coo’s. You are learning how to splash around… I foresee a lot of mopping up in my future.
You are now batting at your toys when they are hanging above you. You still keep your hands closed more than open but I think that will probably change this next month. You have lost some hair around your head where you turn and wiggle during the night. You still grunt, talk, squeek and wiggle wiggle wiggle during your sleep. You’re fascinated with fans and the fish tank. You’re not a huge fan of tummy time unless you’re on the couch watching the fish swim by. You still love being wrapped in the moby but are starting to use it as leverage to try and stand up. Speaking of standing up, your daddy loves to hold you up while you stand and jump. The doctor said once you can hold your head up strong for 5 minutes, we can get you an exersaucer. I just know you’ll love that.
You’re still not fond of the carseat. It has gotten a lot better since your newborn days but I still will ride in the back occasionally if daddy is driving. Yesterday on the way to the doctors, you clenched onto my hand for the entire drive. It was so sweet.
You’re a great sleeper, just like mama. We start bedtime around 8 pm. You put yourself to sleep after nursing and sleep until 3:45. I wake you up, you nurse again and sleep until 7ish. We are going to try and move your 3:45 feeding this upcoming month so that I don’t crawl back in bed for only an hour before getting up to start my day. I wake you up to eat more often than you wake me up, so that tells me you’ll probably do great if I push it a little bit longer.
The faces that you make have your dad and I constantly laughing. Between your dad and I, you’re bound to be full of expression and personality. You’re already so sweet and loving. You’re a snuggler which I absolutely love. I could hold you for hours and it wouldn’t get old. Thankfully you’re also content on your own. You’ll play on your playmate and be perfectly content as daddy and I get things done around the house.
I think you know who I am now. When I come into your room in the mornings, you have started to smile at me. We look at each other a lot. You’ll scan my face and smile and then I smother you with kisses. You’ll try and talk to me. My heart swells with love when we have our “chats”.
Your cousins are completely in love with you. Charlotte and James constantly ask to hold you and Emily just wants to be near you. She talks about you all the time. I’m sure you’ll be best of friends as you both grow older.
We are planning our first overnight trip to Gigi’s tomorrow to celebrate thanksgiving. There are so many people who are so excited to finally meet you. You’ll love them, I know I do. Just wait until you’re old enough to eat a breakfast made by Gigi.
Tama and Grandma are head over heals in love with you. They love showing you off and getting their snuggles in. You’re an extremely loved baby.
We started cloth diapering this month. You wear cloth probably 85% of the time. You still wear a disposable at night and if we will be gone most of the day. You’re in a size 2 diaper!!! Your dad and I remember putting on the size 1 diaper for the first time and it was huge! Now, a size 2. Crazy.
This past month has been great. I sometimes miss my 8 lb 2 oz little boy but I LOVE watching you grow everyday. I love being your mom and love being able to stay home with you. I can’t wait for this summer when we can venture out to playgrounds, pools and take trips to the beach. You make this adventure of parenthood absolutely wonderful. I love you Bennett Journey, b-nut, love bug, Mr. B.
Love,
Mommy
I met my husband in 2008. I was a week shy of turning 17. I actually don’t remember meeting him for the first time. Now? I’m turning 24 and he will be 30 in 3 months. Time is flying.
Interesting fact? Patrick and I have a 6.5 year age difference. This is less of an issue as we both grow older but at the time, it seemed like a big deal. However, I knew within 6 months of meeting him that I wanted to marry him, even before we officially dated. I remember sitting in class, talking with Pamela and saying… I think I love him. I can see myself marrying him. Looking back, those are big words for a 17 year old. My friends probably thought I was crazy.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the past 6 years. So much has changed in 6 years. I went from a single high school senior, to a married mom of a 2 month old. I have traveled the world with my husband, we have purchased 2 homes, we both started and ended school careers, we have fought, learned to forgive, celebrated and learned and most recently, brought a life into this world. Patrick was there for me when my dad died, only 4 months after meeting him. Patrick was there when I graduated high school and college. I was there when he changed careers, started his own company and went back to school. We have seen each other grow up. We are celebrating 4 years of marriage this week.
Patrick and I dated for 364 days. He took me back to the place he asked me to be his girlfriend, dropped to his knee and asked me to be his wife. I ugly cried and said yes. I had just celebrated my 19th birthday only 6 days prior. I was young and had a lot to learn about being a wife, but 4 months later, we were married.
That first year was hard. We learned a lot about each other that first year. I wouldn’t trade it though because it helped me learn how to forgive which is essential in any marriage. It helped me learn how to communicate, budget, cook and love without expectations.
When your husband or wife is a complete opposite, it takes a lot of compromising and a lot of patience and understanding. Patrick and I learned quickly that we are polar opposites in a lot of stuff which makes his strengths my weaknesses and vice versa. In reality, 4 years later and we still are learning about each other. Marriage takes work. You have to put effort in. You have to love extravagantly, forgive often and communicate. I am thankful for a husband who is patient with me when I’m not being the nicest or my tone could cut ice. I am thankful for a husband who doesn’t point out my flaws whenever they are the first thing that I’m putting forth.
I have learned so much in 4 years. I am so thankful that I had friends and family who still supported a crazy 19 year old saying, “YEA! Getting married at 19 is a great idea!” It sounds crazy now that I see how young I was and how little I knew… but I’m so glad I made that leap and commitment. I have had the most wonderful 4 years of learning and experiencing life with my best friend. Our marriage is like wine, it gets better every year. So cliche, but true.
Patrick and I have visited Aruba
Belize
Honduras
Grand Caymans
Bahamas
… I think I’m forgetting a few.
My husband has brought out the best in me. On our honeymoon (a cruise to the bahamas), I was TERRIFIED to leave the boat. Like, in tears. Here I was, just married, never traveled without my parents and all of the sudden, I was in another country with a man who I had just moved in with. Now? You can’t keep us on the boat. Can you tell that we love cruises? We love to explore and try new things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still much more reserved than Patrick, but he challenges me to come out of my comfort zone. I have changed so much (for the better) in 4 years. 
1st year anniversary session!
The day after he proposed
Becoming parents.
3rd cruise!
3rd year anniversary session!
2nd anniversary photo session
Second cruise!
Our first anniversary!
Day 1 of us being a “couple” haha
The night he asked me to be his girlfriend.
Our first cruise! Honeymoon!
At our favorite place. 2009?
Dating.
Aruba.
Engagement Photo.
High school graduation.
My 18th Birthday.
My 18th Birthday
Dating
Dating.
After my half marathon
Now. 🙂
Marrying Patrick was one of the best things I did in my life. I love living life with this man and look forward to the decades we still have before us. Bennett is waking up, so it’s time to go. I’ll probably have a sappy facebook status on the 27th. Be prepared. Happy 4 years (on the 27th) babe!
Thank for living life with me Patrick, I love you.
Is Folgers in your cup? Actually it’s choconuts coffee in my cup with french vanilla creamer…. while sitting in bed next to my husband.
Fun fact, when Patrick met me, I was working in a coffee shop. Even funnier fact? I didn’t drink coffee. I didn’t drink coffee until 2010? Once I started drinking coffee though, that has been our go-to date for years. Need a quick date? Coffee it is. Need a long in depth conversation? Coffee it is. Want to people watch? Coffee it is. Want to surprise the hubby to just say I love you? Coffee it is. Saturday mornings? Yard sales and coffee. Going into labor? Breuggars and coffee. Coffee Coffee Coffee.
When I was a nanny and Patrick had the typical 9-5 job, we would wake up at 5 am and sit in bed and drink our coffee together. Sometimes we would talk, sometimes we would surf the web on our phones but either way, it was the best part of waking up. Over the past year or two, I have given up coffee several times, switched to tea or didn’t drink anything. We lost our 5 am dates over the years and chose to sleep in. We stayed up later at night and therefore, we slept in longer.
With Bennett here, everything is different. Patrick leaves for school, drives an hour, spends all day in class then has to run his company whenever school let’s out. By the time he’s home, we eat dinner, watch a show, hang out with Bennett and then it’s time to start bedtime. (7:45 or 8 pm). After bedtime, I crawl into bed and crash after I set my alarm for B and I’s 3:30 am nursing session.
What’s missing? Quality time with just my guy. My big guy. Having a kid consumes your world. Everything revolves around them. We have heard for years though, make sure your marriage comes first but sometimes that is easier said than done. Last week, Patrick came into Bennett’s room while I was nursing him for the last time of the night. He walked in and asked me for a coffee date the next morning. A million reasons of why I should have said no ran through my mind. Does he realize that I wake up at 3:30 everyday? Does he realize that I’m tired. Does he realize that I could be sleeping. Let’s get real, I love sleep. I NEED SLEEP. But then it hit me. He’s pursuing me. He wants to spend time with just ME. He could sleep an extra hour but instead is choosing to wake up at 5 am, shower and get ready for his day and then spend a kid free hour with me.
I said yes. He said good. He had already set the timer on the coffee maker and we were set for a date…. in our room with hushed voices and morning breath. The next morning was well worth trading in an hour of sleep. We talked and it didn’t revolve around Bennett. We drank our coffee and enjoyed each other’s company. We were on a date that cost us virtually nothing but was the freshest breath of air. It was so refreshing that we have kept it up. We have our morning coffee dates before the world wakes up. Before Bennett wakes up. Before the sun decides to rise and start the day.
As B becomes older, we will be able to actually go out for coffee dates or dinner but for right now, this is what we will do. I make the coffee the night before and Patrick brings it up to me in the morning after he showers. We will have a date, every day. 1 uninterrupted hour of just my guy and I. Another perk was for the first time in weeks, I was waking up to silence instead of Bennett crying to eat. I wasn’t rushing around, trying to pee, trying to put my hair in a bun, trying to not stumble over my feet as I make my way to his room. Coffee dates remind me that our marriage will come first so that we can be the best parents possible for Bennett. We will put ourselves first so that Bennett can see a healthy and happy marriage as he grows up. That might mean sacrificing sleeping an extra hour to make it happen, but it will happen. It’s worth it. It’s SO worth it. I’m so thankful for a man who will ask me on a coffee date even after 4 years of marriage. Knowing him, he’ll still be asking me on coffee dates after 80 years of marriage.
The best part of waking up is coffee in bed with my husband.
I pray for many more years of refreshing coffee dates with my guy.
We woke up to watch the sun rise on our cruise… and to drink coffee.
I went to a baby shower for a good friend yesterday. SO much fun to be back in the pregnancy world. I loved seeing all the little outfits and baby items! It made me start thinking about my own shower and what has ended up being my must have items. Now, these are just what have worked for me but I remember researching so many mama-blogs while pregnant trying to figure out what I should get.
1. Boppy
Now some people love the “My breast friend” nursing pillow but I LOVE my boppy. Since we spend a good amount of time nursing, this pillow has saved my arms. It is also great during dinner time because he can nurse while I hold a plate of food over him and try to eat myself. I will let you know a little secret about Patrick and I…. we eat dinner on the couch. No matter how fancy the meal is, in the past 4 years of marriage, we have only eaten at our table MAYBE 5 times. When Mr. B is finally old enough to sit in a high chair, we will FINALLY end our couch eating days and start having family dinner at the table.
2. Burp rags
Or even just extra thin light blankets in general. I don’t know about your kid, but mine is so thoughtful and caring that he loves to share what he eats. I laugh so hard whenever he spits up on Patrick’s outer shirt so he will take it off, then B will spit up on his inner shirt and some days he ends up spitting up again on Patrick’s bare chest. It’s not abundant all the time but unless I want to change my clothes over and over again, burp rags are essential to our everyday routine.
Burp rag under him!
3. Pack and Play
We have a 2 story home so having the pack n play downstairs as a changing table is amazing. I highly recommend some type of downstairs changing station if you have a 2 story home because ain’t nobody got time for lugging a kid upstairs every time they pee.
4. Dropcam
We use a security camera as our baby monitor. Why a security camera? Well, it allows up to see inside the home via wifi. It is nice to know that Patrick or I can still log in from anywhere and see what’s going on. I would say that our Dropcam has been essential because Bennett has gone in his crib in his room from day one. It is so nice to still be able to see him while I’m laying in my own bed. It has amazing night vision so we can zoom in and see him breathing, even at night! The only downfall of having a security camera as a monitor is that it runs from your phone. SO, we bought a $30 audio monitor from target so that we don’t have to keep our phones running all the time. The audio monitor alerts us to when he makes any noise so that we can then look on our phones. True story, our first couple of nights home, we had the monitor at the highest sensitivity and the highest volume….. after 3 nights of barely sleeping because Mr. B is the noisiest baby ever, we now keep the monitor on the lowest sensitivity and lowest volume. I love our setup.
5. Moby Wrap
Mr. B hates his carseat. He is getting better about not screaming bloody murder while in it but we try to spend minimal time with him in it.With that being said, I wear him pretty much anytime we go out. He is SUCH a happy and content baby when I wear him that it allows me to run errands more productively, walk away from my cart without leaving him behind, use both of my hands, strangers don’t attempt to touch him and it is nice for mama/son snuggles. I highly recommend baby wearing. Whenever he outgrows the Moby we will be moving on to woven wraps (they don’t stretch so heavy babies/toddlers don’t sag in the wrap) and I eventually will purchase an Ergo carrier. I forsee baby wearing in my future for as long as he will let me. He won’t always want me to carry him so I am soaking it in and enjoying it while I can.
6. Washer and Dryer, cleaning supplies.
Want to know a secret? I am woman enough to “woman up” and admit that I have an issue with “dirty” stuff. Even before I was pregnant! For example… you don’t sit (or even think about sleeping) on my side of the bed in clothes that have been outside of the house. Shoes come off whenever you come in our home. Think about all the nasty stuff that is on the bottom of your shoes. People spit, vomit, spit loogies, etc on the road/sidewalks and you walk through it. Nasty. Never touch a gas handle. Who cleans them??? It’s like shaking hands with a million unsanitary strangers…. but back to needing a washer and dryer. When I became pregnant and started nesting, it all intensified. Now that B is here…. dang. I wash and dry AT LEAST 1 load a day… especially with him spitting up on everything. Playmats, sheets, blankets, clothes, towels…. WASH EVERYTHING. If we run errands and his blankets are handled a lot or I set them down somewhere… you got it. They get washed. Now, mama’s with more than 1 kid might be laughing. You might say, “Oh that will change” “Just wait until you have 2 kids running around!” Well, until I get there. Let me happy with my OCD fight against dirt and germs. WASH EVERYTHING!
7. The Paci.
Ohhhh the pacifier. We didn’t want to introduce the paci…. but it happened…. on the first day of life. Mr. B came out of the womb and one of the first things he did was suck on his hands. We are pretty sure he even did it in the womb. SO, when he came out and his hands were no longer close to his face constantly, he just wanted to suck on anything that was. Instead of comfort nursing 24/7, we introduced the paci. He doesn’t sleep with it at night (thankfully) but it IS helpful during the day when he just wants to suck on something but isn’t hungry or on car rides when he begins to scream. He has started to find his thumbs, so I’m wondering if now that he can control his arms/hands more if that will replace the paci. The crazy part is, is that he prefers the NUK paci’s instead of the popular green soothie’s. So, don’t stock up on a whole bunch of paci’s before they come because they might not like them
8. A Bathrobe
I bought a super soft jersey bathrobe for after I delivered at the hospital. I have never been a bathrobe person until Mr. B came. The first month of B’s life, I LIVED In the bathrobe that I bought. It was so easy to nurse in, super comfy and great to throw on for the middle of the night feedings. Then the cold weather came and I went and purchased the biggest (SIZE XL! haha) fluffiest, snuggy type bathrobe. It can be rough getting out of a warm bed to go feed at 3 am but the bathrobe helps a ton!! I highly recommend buying one!
9. Feed baby App
I downloaded this app in the hospital and have used it ever since. It tracks how long he feeds, how many diapers he has had, what kind they are and everything else you can possibly think of and then makes charts, graphs etc. It reminds you which side you started feeding on last, which for me was absolutely essential. It also has alarms to remind you to change their diapers, when they last pooped, when they need to feed again. I absolutely love the app. The best part, it’s free!
10. Lactation Consultant
Bennett was 4 days old when I met with a lactation consultant. Breastfeeding is hard work. It’s a huge learning curve for both mama and baby and I was so tired in the beginning that I wouldn’t correct his latch in the middle of the night. Needless to say, this created problems and I decided to meet with a lactation consultant at my peditricians office. Best decision I ever made. I probably wouldn’t still be breastfeeding if I would have not met with her. She taught me a lot about the types of milk our breasts produce, how the baby should be latching on, how to empty the breast etc. Ladies, if you are struggling with breastfeeding, MEET WITH A LACTATION CONSULTANT. It was the turning point for B and I’s nursing relationship.
11. My #1 essential thing….
Bathtime with daddy
Patrick is an amazing Dad. Hands down. He’s fantastic. I love watching him and Bennett bond. He’s always willing to help out with him, help me out, grab me stuff while I’m nursing, do the daddy and Bennett bedtime routine and watch him when I need to run out. I remember when we were dating and talking about marriage, asking myself this question. “Will he be a good dad to my children?” I knew back then that he would be…. but now that I see him in action, he’s not just good. He’s great. Bennett and I are blessed.
Those have been my essentials in the past 7 weeks… at least that is all I can think of right now. What were some of your essentials?
Some other things that I have learned in the past 7 weeks:
– Pampers sucked for us. Can I say sucked? Sure. They leaked every single time I put him in one. Surprisingly Target’s up and up brand worked the best for us. Don’t be afraid to try cheaper brands.
– Baby clippers haven’t worked for us yet. We still have to use an emery (spelling?) board. His nails grow SO fast.
– We found that the baby wash cloths weren’t as soft as our own, so we use a regular one on him. PLUS, baby wash clothes are super small so you have to put them in a lingerie bag to wash them which can be cumbersome.
– Speaking of a lingerie bag, buy one. Baby socks are tiny and the washer can eat them.
– Have multiple sheets, boppy covers so that if they spit up or their diapers leak, you can at least cover the mattress or boppy while the other is washing.
– If you have somewhere you have to be, don’t put on the clothes you want to wear on until the last minute…. there is a good chance you’ll get spit up on or some sort of stain will find its way on you. Same thing for baby.
– Take everything you can from the hospital. Especially the receiving blankets and wipes. The wipes they gave me after birth were far better than any brand I tried to buy once we got home. Patrick and I brought an entire empty bag just so we could bring home the extra items.
– Don’t buy a million swaddles before baby comes because you might end up with a kid like Mr. B who HATES being swaddled.
– Rectal thermometers are the only type of thermometer that is accurate on a kid under 1. We learned that after our first ped appointment. You can find a great one at target for around $15.
– Newborns can temporarily stop breathing for a few seconds. It’s completely normal. They will breath really fast, hold their breath for a second, breath really fast again, slow their breathing down, breath really fast… you get the picture. It’s all normal. Patrick and I were freaking out the first time we realized he was holding his breath.
– Motherhood maternity sleeping/nursing bra’s are wonderful.
– Sleep with a soft towel under your chest for the first couple of weeks while your milk adjusts. That way if your milk let’s down while you sleep, you won’t soak your sheets. Towels are a lot easier to change in the middle of the night.
– Don’t set your mind on any one thing. Babies have their own personality, things they like, don’t like etc. Go into mamahood with an open mind and take it all one day at a time. 🙂
Do you have any tips/tricks you want to share?
Good morning smiles!
Running with mama!
Lunch with Tama (Grandma)!
Love my “B-nut” as daddy calls him. B-Nut is an airplane fluid line fitting.
Relbot Adventures 