To my sweet sweet Bennett Journey, B-nut, Goose, Stink stink,

You turned 8 months old this week. You  bring me so much joy everyday. When people see you, they often tell me, “That’s a baby who just loves life.” It’s so true. You have an infectious joy about you. You bring a smile to everyone you meet.

You have a shy quality to your joyous personality. You often retreat to my arms and bury your face into my chest when you’re unsure of your surroundings. Loud noises and busy surroundings are sometimes hard for you to handle and make you uneasy.

You love to spend quality time with people, the one on one, all distractions put aside. You love to be verbally praised and react to a stern tone more than anything else.

You take after your daddy and I because you’re a very determined baby. When you decide you want something or want to do something, you find a way to do it.

You have started to realize that you can make us laugh and will continue to do whatever made us laugh in the first place. That’s a daddy trait. I hope you keep that trait. 🙂

You love to move. Jumping is your favorite and you rather stand and balance than sit. You are mobile and have just started to rock on your hands and knee’s. You’ll roll and scoot all around the room though. You’ll take steps if someone is holding your hands and you’ll take steps if you’re holding onto a standing object.

You’re extremely verbal, just not in public. You’re saying dada and mama almost everyday and you love to babble. You’re extremely quiet though in public. You are an observer when out and about. You love to sit outside and watch your surroundings, birds, leaves, clouds, or cars. People interest you and you love to observe them. You’re a people watcher, just like me.

You enjoy music and dancing. Anything that makes a sound that you can control, excites you. Daddy playing guitar mesmerizes you. We listen to pandora and are constantly singing throughout the day.

You’ve brought so much love and joy into my life these past 8 months. I am so thankful for you and the little boy you’re turning into. I love you Goose!

I did this when B was first born, so I thought that it would be fun to do the list again! What are my must haves now that B is 8 months old?

My number 1 must have:

NUK Pacifier – These have been absolutely essential in this household for Mr. B as he has been teething these past couple of months. We JUST cut through with our first bottom tooth so putting Mr. B to bed wouldn’t be NEARLY as easy without a paci. For over 6 months, he didn’t go to bed with a paci but the past 2, we have put him down with one so I don’t have to comfort nurse him constantly. I then go in before I go to bed and take it out of his mouth.  

My #2 & #3:

Ok, my 2 and 3 are tied. My Bob revolution stroller and my Tula are used almost everyday. Without these two items, we wouldn’t be able to leave the house as easily. The bob stroller was my must have before I was pregnant and the Tula became a must have after B outgrew our Moby wrap. The Bob is SO easy to push and is GREAT for runs and walks and whenever B no longer want to ride in the stroller, wearing him in the Tula is just as easy. The Tula allows me to easily take B to places where strollers are not easy to bring or if I need to use both my hands, like the post office, I just wear him and voila! Easy peasy. We spend everyday outside so without these, I would be lost.

My #4:

White noise. We introduced a white noise fan into B’s nap times and at night and it has been fantastic. It allows us to watch tv, clean the house and resume a normal life after B goes to bed. We mainly started using it to help drown out our neighbors dog who barks all night long.

My #5:

Hyland teething tablets. These are wonderful. They have really helped us through the vicious teething cycle.

My #6:

Aden and Anais blankets. We had these when B was first born but never used them. They weren’t warm enough to use as a blanket and B didn’t like being swaddled. Now? We use them constantly. B get’s so distracted when going down for a nap or to sleep so I cover his face with an aden and anais blanket and it helps him relax and calm down. I also put one in his arm when he goes to down to sleep because it’s so light weight that he doesn’t sweat as much whenever he pulls it over his head.

My #7:

This guy. I couldn’t do it without him. He is such an amazing dad to Bennett and I am so blessed to call him mine. He helps me out even after long days of school and work and reminding me that I am loved.

My #8

We clicked from day one. Friendships like this don’t come around often and I’m so thankful that we get to do motherhood together. I’m adding her into my current favorites because there are definitely days that I don’t think I could do the everyday without her.

Those are all I can really think of right now. I might come back and edit this later on BUT I think that’s a pretty good list of my must haves now that B is 8 months old. 🙂

This isn’t an inspiring post. Just another day as a mom post. We had a long night in the Relbot household last night. It was actually terrifying at times. I’m actually surprised the computer that  I’m typing on is still in working order after Patrick threw it on the ground trying to run upstairs while I screamed for his help.

Please stop reading if vomit makes you vomit. 

Rewind. Yesterday was a great day. B slept in (WHAT?), then he took very very long naps and was rather laid back all day. We just contributed it all to a growth spurt. What parent doesn’t rejoice when their child sleeps in and then takes long naps and doesn’t cry all day?! All was great through dinner and bedtime. He went down a little early and I rejoiced again at a laid back bedtime routine and the chance to get some work done in my office.

I put B down and he immediately fell asleep and I went into my office to work on some sessions. I always have Dropcam (our baby monitor) pulled up in another tab and will periodically check on him to make sure he’s still sleeping. After about 30 minutes, I could hear B rolling around. I went in, straightened out his covers, pulled him back to the bottom of the crib and he fell back asleep. Back to my office I went. I then heard him cough so I pulled up the dropcam tab and I couldn’t get to him fast enough. Dropcam is delayed by a few seconds so I was actually able to see him cough and then he started projectile vomiting.

B hasn’t been sick at all in the past 8 months. Not a cold, not an ear ache, nothing. I don’t take any supermom credit for this, it actually has completely surprised us. So when I see my son projectile vomiting, you can be assured I was in full panic mode. B doesn’t sleep with the lights on so when I first went in his room, my first thought was oh my gosh, he’s spit up blood. It was a dark orange and it was everywhere. I screamed for Patrick and he dropped everything, including the computer to run upstairs. Patrick knows my screams. He knows my PLEASE COME KILL THIS SPIDER scream and my something is horribly wrong scream.

There was vomit everywhere. In the crib, on his blankets, all over him, all over me. EVERYWHERE. In the moment though, you don’t care. I grabbed him, held him to my chest and let him continue to vomit all over me. It just didn’t matter.

So, into the bathroom we went where we both stripped off our vomit covered clothing and Patrick gave B a bath. We repeated our bedtime routine, thinking that it was the end of it but no. After about 5 minutes of nursing, again there was projectile vomiting everywhere. It’s like someone hooked up a fire hose to B’s mouth and was spraying stomach contents all over me, the rocking chair, his clothes again… my clothes again… It was horrible. My poor baby would go slouchy limp after every time he would vomit. At that point I told Patrick we should go to the ER. I wasn’t afraid over the fact that he was vomiting, I was more afraid that I couldn’t nurse him without him vomiting. I was afraid dehydration would set in. We called the after hours nurse who gave us instructions on how to nurse him, when we should consider an ER trip etc. We settled in for a long night and this mama got very little sleep.

I told you this wasn’t going to be an inspirational post. Just a blog post about Bennett’s first time getting sick. We are praying for a better day today because we have SO much going on this weekend including birthday parties, weddings and cookouts.

That’s the thing. When your child is sick, everything else doesn’t matter. Say a prayer for Mr. B if you get the chance. No vomit this morning, we are just waiting for him to re hydrate and give us some good pee diapers. 🙂

I had to ask myself this question this week. Bennett and I had a rough afternoon one day this week. I don’t want to go into too many details because I have made a promise to myself never to share B in a negative light on any public forum. SO, let’s just say it was a tiring afternoon and once my little man finally went down for his afternoon nap, I retreated to my office, put my head in my hands and said, “This isn’t the mother I want to be.” The way I responded was NOT how I want to raise Bennett. So then the question arose, what kind of mother DO I want to be? 

I had to stop and really think about that. I honestly haven’t thought about it much. If how I responded to a tough situation is NOT how I WANT to respond, how DO I want to respond? So I got the idea to make a list. 

I wanted to write out anything and everything that I wanted to include in an outline of the type of mom I want to be. This might sound silly but I like to write stuff out, process it, reflect on it, tuck it away for future use. It’s another reason why I blog.

I asked myself what does the bible say about being a mom? I then resorted to google for some encouragement and some faster research than me scouring the bible book by book.

“Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5). In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. This word represents a special kind of “mother love.” The idea that flows out of this word is that of caring for our children, nurturing them, affectionately embracing them, meeting their needs, and tenderly befriending each one as a unique gift from the hand of God. ”

(I did look up Philoteknos in Strong’s Concordance and it doesn’t point to what that statement ^ says BUT maybe I just didn’t look hard enough? )

Original Word: φιλότεκνος, ον
Part of Speech: Adjective
Transliteration: philoteknos
Phonetic Spelling: (fil-ot’-ek-nos)
Short Definition: loving one’s children
Definition: loving one’s children.

I found this list:

Involvement – interacting, discussing, thinking, and processing life together (Ephesians 6:4)

Teaching – the Scriptures and a biblical worldview (Psalm 78:5-6; Deuteronomy 4:10; Ephesians 6:4)

Training – helping a child to develop skills and discover his/her strengths (Proverbs 22:6) and spiritual gifts (Romans 12:3-8and 1 Corinthians 12)

Discipline – teaching the fear of the Lord, drawing the line consistently, lovingly, firmly (Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15-17)

Nurture – providing an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection, unconditional love (Titus 2:4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Ephesians 4:29-32; 5:1-2; Galatians 5:22; 1 Peter 3:8-9)

Modeling with Integrity – living what you say, being a model from which a child can learn by “catching” the essence of godly living (Deuteronomy 4:9, 15, 23; Proverbs 10:9; 11:3; Psalm 37:18, 37).

Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/mothers-Christian.html#ixzz3YnWDq7Pt

I thought that was a pretty good biblical outline which could be the base and foundation of my “What type of mother do I want to be” outline.

I’m still working on the specifics of my list. I might share it once I finish it. I might not, who knows. I just wanted to encourage you to make a list (or even just think about) what type of mom you want to be. Or wife. Or employee. It really can be used for any aspect of life. What does the bible say about “XYZ” and use that as a base for your outline.

Make a list so whenever things get tough, you have a reminder. You can stay locked on exactly who you want to be. It’s easier to have specific statements to play in your head than to just think, “THIS ISN’T HOW I WANT TO RESPOND!”

I’m currently reading, Jesus, The gentle parent by L.R. Knost . It’s really good. There are some things that I can’t apply to my life like bed sharing BUT it has some really good stuff in it. My favorite quote so far:

“You are your children’s first taste of God, their first vision of grace. How you treat them in that capacity will inevitably affect their relationship with Christ. Choose love, because he is Love in the flesh. Choose gentleness, because he is the Gentle Shephard. Choose grace, because he died so that you could. Grace has a face… it’s yours.

“”Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice.”” – Phil 4:9″

I don’t want Bennett to grow up hearing me tell him how to act/respond/live by the bible and then I don’t do it myself. I want Bennett to see Christ’s love in the actions in my life and the way I parent and not just my words.

My words are empty until I myself do what I’m teaching. 

If I want Bennett to be patient, I need to be patient.

If I want Bennett to calmly respond, I need to be calm when I respond.

If I want Bennett to __________, I need to ________________.

The list is never ending.

I want to love Bennett like God loves me. What does the bible say about love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7The Message (MSG)

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Now insert your name. 

Ann never gives up.
Ann cares more for others than for self.
Ann doesn’t want what she doesn’t have.
Ann doesn’t strut,
Ann doesn’t have a swelled head,
Ann doesn’t force itself on others,
Ann isn’t always “me first,”
Ann doesn’t fly off the handle,
Ann doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Ann doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Ann takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Ann puts up with anything,
Ann trusts God always,
Ann always looks for the best,
Ann never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

So much of that can be applied to parenting.

Make a list, stay focused. You can do this, mama. There is so much good even on the hard days. 

Last week Patrick had spring break. He worked long days most of the week catching up on all things life but we decided that if the weather was good, we would go to the beach on Friday. Everyday we checked the weather in anticipation of rain or cold temperatures but to our surprise, Friday was calling for perfect beach weather.

I’m a planner. I have things on my schedule for days, weeks if not months. I like to go through every little detail in my head to make sure I know what to expect. As Patrick says, “You like to be spontaneous, but you have to plan to be spontaneous”. Exactly. I need to plan to not have any plans. It’s just who I am. So, when we were throwing around the idea of going to the beach for the day, of course my happy little heart starts to plan it all out.

Day beach trips are so different when taking a little with you. We did a few trips to Gigi’s when Bennett was 2 months old but this would be the first all day trip since Bennett now has an actual routine and knows what’s going on. I was really nervous about how Bennett would do with a 3 hour car ride, a trip to the aquarium, an afternoon at the beach, dinner at Something Fishy and then another 3 hours strapped in the car seat on the way home. That’s a long day for a adult, let alone a 6.5 month old.

Let me tell you. He absolutely rocked it. Ok more than rocked it. He blew our minds with how well he did. He didn’t cry once the entire day. I was shocked.

Bennett typically wakes between 6 and 7 and is up for an hour or two and then goes back down for a morning nap (which is when I typically blog, work, eat breakfast, clean etc). We decided that we would put him in the car and start the drive whenever he was ready to go back down for his morning nap. We filled up the gas tank the night before, packed everything in the car and so when it was time, it was literally just put a diaper on him and hit the road. No stopping for coffee, no morning buiscuit, do not pass go – just get on the road and drive. I wasn’t sure if he would last 3 hours in the car without us stopping. Heck, I normally have a rest stop so I can relieve my tiny bladder! We decided to drive for as long as possible but if he obviously needed a break from the carseat, we would stop.

He fell asleep about 30 minutes in and slept for an hour and a half and then was awake for the next hour. The fact that he was awake for an hour after his nap and STILL didn’t cry is what really surprised me. We didn’t have to stop and feed him or anything. We actually were able to even go through a drive through for lunch before the aquarium. When we got to the aquarium, I fed him in the car, flipped the backseat down and changed his diaper on it and then it was time for the aquarium.

The last time we went was in 2009! Check out the pre-marriage, pre-baby folk!

What a great trip 🙂

It was even more fun going with Bennett though. He LOVES fish. He wanted to touch them all which was really funny to watch.

After the aquarium, it was time for the beach. It was warm 80+ degrees outside with very few clouds in the sky.

I had packed 3 bags for the day. Mostly to stay organized but it actually worked out great.

Bennett’s diaper bag had everything he needed for diaper changes, the aquarium and toys for the car ride.

I used a Thirtyone utility tote for all of our clothes, a bag for all things sandy after the beach, my tablet and anything we might need for our car ride such as snacks etc.

I then used another Thirty one utility tote for all things beach. This included towels, toys for the beach, a fold up waterproof blanket thing for Bennett to lay on, flip flops, a hat, sunglasses, sunscreen etc. This way we just had 1 bag to bring to the beach with us.

We brought our tent, chairs, a cooler and then the one bag. I was concerned with how I was going to get all the stuff PLUS Bennett to the beach. It was better than expected. I wore Bennett, carried the utility tote and then Patrick wore the chairs (they can be worn like backpacks), carried the cooler in one hand the the tent in the other.

See the blue floral blanket thingy under the towels? Best 12 dollars I’ve spend. The sand literally rolled off of it unlike towels where it gets stuck in the fibers. I got it at walmart 🙂 It has a water repellent back so it also can be used in the grass at a park or something similar 🙂 It folds up into a nice square with a handle for easy transport.

You can see the ThirtyOne Utility tote I brought. It was REALLY easy to carry on my shoulder while wearing Bennett.

Our Setup. Some people buy camping stuff…. we buy beach gear. We bought a beach tent this year and it was the best addition EVER to our set up. I literally could spend all day at the beach now because the tent blocks the sun AND the wind. It was a great place for Bennett to spend so he didn’t get too hot or needed a break from the windy beach. It easily fit our cooler, both chairs and a large area for Bennett to lay/play.

There was literally no one on the beach so breastfeeding was an ease hahah.

Bennett did have a little bit of trouble falling asleep with all the noise and distractions. Once he did though, Patrick and I threw a Frisbee around, hunted for shark teeth (as usual) and just enjoyed a relaxing 45 minutes of US time.

We spent almost 4 hours on the beach before we packed up and headed out to Something Fishy. I don’t have any pictures from dinner because we left our phones in the car (on purpose). It was a beautiful day. Bennett did amazing and it was so refreshing to finally get back to the beach.

Bennett fell asleep about 6:30 in the car on the way home and slept the entire way. He was awake for about 45 minutes when we got home, changed him into pj’s, wiped him down from the day and started our typical bedtime routine. I’m surprised that he still slept through the night considering he technically went to bed at 6:30.

I’m so excited for more beach trips this summer. Thankful for the memories that were made on our very first beach trip with Bennett Journey.

Today was fantastic. It was so fantastic that I wanted to blog about it!!

It started off with Patrick being home this morning. That is always great. 🙂 We didn’t get a kidless coffee date but a cute little boy was in a great mood when he woke up, so his smiles and giggles made up for the early wake up call.

B took great naps today which allowed me to post a blog post that i’ve been working on for weeks.

The best part of the day was definately this afternoon. Bennett went down for a nap and Patrick and I got to eat lunch together and hang out for a bit. Patrick had planned on taking Bennett to run errands with him this afternoon so for the 2nd time in 6 months, I would be home alone.

So after B woke up from him 2 hour nap (yessssss), I fed him, packed his diaper bag and off they went.

I had two glorious hours to myself. I originally planned to just veg out on the couch for 2 hours but after watching a 45 minute show and painting my nails, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted go on a run. I’m thankful that B does well when I take him on runs but there is something about just being out there by myself, headphones in and not a care in the world. It was fantastic seeing how it hasn’t happened since Bennett has been here. I’ve gone to the gym but haven’t ran outside by myself… since well… like 3 months pregnant.

Patrick and Bennett arrived home and Patrick said I had mail. I never get mail! It was from Amazon and I was racking my brain for what I had ordered and couldn’t remember anything! So, I open it up and a set of 4 coasters were in there. You see, sweet Liv had eaten one of my cork ones a few days earlier. It really wasn’t a big deal! They were dollar store coasters!! Catherine had mentioned that they had bamboo coasters that didn’t break whenever Liv chewed on them. I didn’t even think twice about them until I opened up the package.

My heart is full.

Finally, we went to get Patricks hair cut in preparation for Easter tomorrow. 🙂 Can we saw bow chica wow wowoowwwwww. Favorite haircut yet!

I feel refreshed after an afternoon to myself. I feel loved from the sweet gift from a sweet friend. I feel energized after being able to soak up some vitamin D while on my run. I feel thankful for a day full of refreshing moments. The house is clean, the dishes are put away, I’m about to fold some laundry and I can honestly say that today was a good day.

When I say that Bennett turns 6 months old today, that doesn’t seem like a long time… but if I reword that to, it has been half a year… I am taken aback. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Actually… 6 months ago at this time (7 am), I was pushing, desperately trying to get Bennett out. I can’t believe that half a year has come and vanished. Gone. Where though??? My baby is looking less and less like the newborn I delicately brought home and more like a energetic little boy who is eager to explore the world.

I thank God everyday for choosing me to be Bennett’s mom. He is pretty much perfect… just like his mama. 😉 ACTUALLY, we have our ups and down just like any other family. As much as Facebook makes my life look perfect, it’s not. I just don’t post my family’s shortcomings publicly. Facebook is literally just the best of the best moments of my life. You don’t see my tears of frustrations that come with mamahood or the arguments between Patrick and I. What??? We argue? Yes. hahah. Or the 7 other outfits I tried on and took off because my mama body didn’t feel comfortable in them. You only see the “I love my life” moments. My life has hard moments, joyous moments, tiring moments, exhausted moments, exciting moments, frustrated moments, peaceful moments, thankful moments…. the list could go on forever. That what a family is though. You do life together, you embrace each other through all the good and the bad. There has been a lot more good than bad in these past 6 months though. My sweet sweet Bennett has brought more joy to Patrick and I’s life than he will ever understand… until he has his own baby one day.

So, what is Mr. B doing at 6 months? Too much!!! Just kidding… kind of. He is growing up way too fast and is constantly making his daddy and I proud. This past month has been a big one. He is officially mobile. He can roll to places to reach toys and has started an army crawl… that he only does out of frustration. We can’t leave him anywhere! I had the vaccum in the living room a good 10 feet away from him and he rolled to it and I came back to him chewing on the cord!!! Parenting fail. Let me go ahead and write my name on the shame board. Sigh. We are starting to see all the things in our home that are no longer safe for him. For example, glass coasters that easily fall of the coffee table… they almost fell on me and I immediately threw them in the trash. So, now we have dollar store cork ones!

Bennett is an observer. He watches everything intently and soaks it all up. If we are outside he stares at the trees as the wind blows them and tries to identify all the different sounds he hears. He prefers for Patrick or I to hold him if we are out and about…. meaning, it takes him some time to warm up to people. The first time I have ever seen him freak out was at Patrick’s 30th birthday party. Everyone arrived at once and he just broke down. Like, only wanted me to hold him, didn’t want to be near anyone. We are learning that he does better when he can warm up to everyone.

He absolutely loves water. He loves a bath or playing in the tub or holding his hand under the spout as the water comes out. In the next month or so we will be getting him a kiddie pool for the back porch so we can spend the warm summer days out there. 🙂

We started food this past month! Breastfeeding is a time commitment and at times I have wanted to give up but we made it 5 1/2 months of exclusively breastfeeding! I originally didn’t want to start food until after 6 months BUT Bennett was so ready. He would watch us eat which was cute… but then he started whimpering when he couldn’t have any food. So, we finally decided it was time. We aren’t doing the traditional baby food route like most. We decided on Baby Led Weaning. If you get the chance, you should read the book. It just made so much sense to me and I knew that was the route I wanted to take with Bennett. His first food were zucchini spears. He absolutely loved them. He wasn’t too keen on sweet potatoes, which surprised Patrick and I but he loved squash. We are slowly letting him try new things and he is absolutely loving it.

For the past 2 or 3 months, Bennett has been sleeping through the night.. We start bedtime around 7:15 or 7:30 and he wakes up around 6:30 or 7. He sleeps with a crocheted blanket that he loves to pull over his face or wrap himself up by rolling in it. The fact that he sleeps though the night is the only reason I am as productive as I am. It’s funny, when you’re going through the middle of the night feedings and the waking up every 3 or 4 hours, you don’t know how you’re going to survive. Now though? I am forgetting what it was like… which is what happens with the birth part as well. You forget how hard it was which makes you want to do it all over again! Let’s not run crazy with that thought though!

Bennett still doesn’t have teeth even though he is teething fiercely. If it’s near his mouth, it’s going in. He doesn’t care whose hand it is or what toy it is. He just wants to chew on it. He has upgraded to trying to chew on both of his hands at the same time. I enjoy that he doesn’t have teeth because breastfeeding a baby with teeth seems like sticking your breast in a piranha’s mouth… but I do wish they would go ahead and poke through and give him some relief.

He loves loves loves music! Hearing Patrick play the guitar is always a favorite.

He is still spitting up but it doesn’t bother him very often. Don’t look at our carpet too closely… little man has learned how to roll off of the blanket we put him on just to vomit on the carpet. Sigh. Spit up has become an accessory for my daily wardrobe. I put on a jacket to go grocery shopping yesterday and realized I had dried up spit up all down the arm that I had somehow missed. That’s the life of a mom though!

Bennett is pretty reserved in the thrill seeking area of life. He isn’t very fond of being thrown up in he air or feeling like he is falling. He actually gets startled easily but at least he normally laughs after his minor “oh my gosh what just happened” spasms. He was the same way in the womb with loud noises so it’s kind of funny to see it in person now. He does love a good game of peek a boo though! He just has to know you’re playing peek a boo 😉

Overall the past 6 months have been the best of my life. We are at such a fun stage and age with Bennett. I can’t say that I wish we would have done this sooner because I loved the season of just Patrick and I… but I absolutely wouldn’t change a thing now. We joke that we can’t remember what life was like before Bennett… but it’s true. In 6 months our lives have completely changed. Literally everything is different… but life is so so good. I cherish every time I get to rock Bennett to sleep or snuggle with him or cradle him in my arms because I know that the days of my baby being a baby are quickly fading. As much as I want him to stay little forever, I want him to grow, explore, learn and become an amazing man. 6 months have literally vanished… he will be 1 before I know it. I’ll have a walking talking little human by my side sooner than I can finish my cup of coffee (that I have reheated 3 times).

Bennett Journey, you are amazing. You’re a light in a dark world. You are a gift to your dad and I. You are sweet and loving and all around great. I pray that a day never goes by that you feel unloved. I won’t ever be able to fully put into words how much I love you… it’s just not possible. 6 months ago, you came into this world and in that blubbery exhausted moment, so much love that I didn’t know existed swelled in my heart. I didn’t know it was possible to love you the way that I do. I pray that I’m the mom that you can find refuge and saftey in and that I love you the way that God loves us. I pray that I am clothed in patience and grace and selflessness. I pray that I never focus on your shortcomings or failures. I pray that I can be a good role model for you as you grow up. I pray that you come to know who you are in Christ as soon as possible and that He has great plans for your life. I pray that I have as many days as possible to be your mama. No matter how old you are, you’ll always be the little newborn that made me a mom. I pray you use your smile and dimples to brighten other peoples lives. You have a way of bringing joy wherever you go. I love you Bennett Journey, you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Happy 6 months.