So if you’re reading this, you most likely have caught on that I’m redoing our living room. Fun fact? When Patrick and I got married, he already had a fully furnished home, so that was an easy transition. I have decorated throughout the years but have never bought a couch or a tv or anything like that. SO, this has been a long time coming. New couches, new TV, new furniture, ottoman… you get the picture. I’m so excited.

ANYWHO’s. So I’ve been making several trips to Home goods. No big deal right? Yall know we cloth diaper. I have NEVER had a blowout in cloth diapers. SO I don’t actually have extra clothes in my diaper bag.

I threw a disposable on him though as we left the house because I wasn’t near any of our cloth and I was already later than I wanted to be. No big deal, right?

So my mom met me at Home goods today to look around, when she arrived, she asked what was on his back (he was in the cart so his back was away from me). I look and dun dun dunnnnnn. POOP. All up his back. I grab him out of the cart, take him to the bathroom…. THERE’S NO CHANGING TABLE!

SO, I’m left to putting a changing pad on the floor…. in front of the sinks (so I’m blocking everyone) and I proceed to strip poop covered clothes off of Bennett… on the floor. I go to grab for the wipes. I HAVE NO WIPES.

SO, I start pulling out paper towels from the dispenser and wetting them to use them as wipes as my child cries naked on the bathroom floor.

SO, I get him cleaned up, put a cloth diaper on him and I miraculously had shorts…. but no shirt.

I wasn’t about to buy him a new outfit (even though I was totally failing at the prepared mom thing) so I went BACK out to the car, grabbed the Tula and put him on my back.

Talk about an epic mom fail moment. Just thought I would share my adventure today.

Do you have any fun poop stories which include epic mom failures?

Day 8 of life. 

9 month well visit.

After Bennett’s vomiting episode a few months ago, our sweet Ped announced she was moving to Cali for a year. Before I had a kid, I could care less about doctors… but there is something about your kid’s ped that holds a special place in your heart. We were placed under her care by chance but I’m so thankful that she is the one that we landed under.

I remember sitting in her office breaking down in tears, with my semi washed hair and yoga pants, holding a three day old with vicious postpartum hormones flying. The guilt of my milk not having come in yet, Bennett still losing weight and feeling like a failure were crushing me. Yet there she sat, handing me a box of tissues and reassuring me that it would all be ok. (You also gave me the best advice ((EVER)) to feed on demand)

Dr. H is a gem. She never once has rushed me or my long list of questions that I fire at her during our visits. She NEVER has made me feel inadequate or stupid for inquiring about anything and everything. You feel as though you have her entire attention when she’s in the room. She remembers the little thing about your child even though you only see her every so often.

She respects you as a parent and you choices for your child. I know that I take a more holistic approach with B and never once has she questioned my judgement. From our amber necklace, baby led weaning and cloth diapering, she’s there to support us and offer the best advice regarding the route we have chosen. As a parent, you want to hear you’re doing a good job. That you’re not failing (even though a lot of days you feel like you are) and her sweet praises are always like little gifts of verbal sunshine.

Dr. H, if you’re reading this – you have found your calling. You’re making an impact (at least in my family). You will be dearly missed and are so so cherished. As a new mom, you made it easy to trust you with my greatest treasure. I hope that you have the greatest adventure filled year with tons of good story telling memories, laughter and love. You will always hold a special place in our hearts and if and when you return to NC, we will be here waiting.

Thank you for taking such amazing care of Bennett these past 9 months. We couldn’t have survived THRIVED as well as we have, without your knowledge, patience, care and love.

With love,

Patrick, Ann and Mr. B.

There is something about being at the beach that gets you really thinking on a deeper level than the usual “what am I going to cook for dinner”. I’ve been thinking about this blog post since our beach trip last week but I have been letting it stew and refine a little before actually typing it out. Also I’ve been crazy busy so finding the time to sit down and actually work on this has been challenging.

I remember when Bennett was a few weeks old and there was bad news story after bad news story. I just held and gazed at Bennett as he slept in my arms, so perfect and whole and all I could think about was that this world has the potential to shatter how perfect he is. Why would I ever want to bring something so perfect into a world that is going to try and break him. How can I protect him from all the bad? Well, for one, I can’t. HE can though. Every single day, as a mom, I have to trust that God has a plan for Bennett far greater than I could ever imagine. That plan is going to call him out of my safe little bubble that I have created for him. It’s going to call him to be bold in his faith. To take risks, to love abundantly. To take leaps of faith. I can’t hold him tightly on the edge of a cliff so that I know he is safe because think of all that I could be holding him back from experiencing if he jumps. If he succeeds. If he flies.

I know Bennett is only 6 months old but if the next 15 years goes by as fast as the past 6 months have gone by, then I know those leaps of faith will be here before I know it.

Back to my thought process from the beach. Patrick and I search for shark teeth every time we are at the beach. It’s just our thing… we are actually pretty good at it. I’ll have to post a picture of our collection one day. Anywho’s, I came across a tiny little shell while on our hunt for shark teeth. It was perfect. It was tiny. It was beautiful. It immediately reminded me of Bennett. How did this tiny little shell remain untouched from the storms of the sea? How could this tiny little shell, remain unshattered after the waves beat it, smashed it into the sand over and over again and somehow it landed perfect and whole among the thousands of broken pieces of shells around it?

That’s my prayer for Bennett. I pray he is the tiny little shell that withstands the storms of life and remains strong and whole no matter what is thrown his way. Life is hard. He is going to face some challenging stuff, especially in the world that he is going to grow up in. That terrifies me. That thought has the opportunity to shake my peace. Knowing that I can’t protect him from everything opens a door for me to let fear in.

” Parents, we can’t protect children from every threat in life, but we can take them to the Source of Life”

“Wise are the parents who regularly give their children back to God”

Both of those quotes are from Max Lucado’s “Fearless” book. Great book, you should read it.

Seriously though, we need to give our children back to God every single day. Everyday we have to trust that God has a great plan for our child’s life. That HE is in control. That HE is their safe place in the storms that try to break them. That HE will bring them to shore, safe, whole and perfect through every storm that comes their way.

I pray that as the years pass, I can point Bennett to the One who calms the waves, who will help him walk on the water, who will bring him safe to shore every time.

I sing that title to the beat of “All about that bass”. You know what freaked me out the most when I was pregnant? The fact that I was going to be breastfeeding Bennett. Not that I had to birth him, or take care of him or yada yada yada… but the fact that I would be breastfeeding. I knew absolutely nothing about breastfeeding other than you’re suppose to putting  a small human to your breast and they will magically eat.

I started to read, “Ina May’s Art of Breastfeeding” but never was able to finish it or really get through it before Bennett came. I just wanted to dedicate a post to breastfeeding and tips and tricks and things I have learned along the way.

In the Hospital:

1. Use the lactation consultants as much as possible while you’re there.

2. Bring a paci even if you don’t think you will use it. We had to send Jamie (my brother in law) to CVS to bring us an emergency paci because all Bennett wanted to do was nurse for 4 hours straight and that was insanely painful. A paci gave me a break.

3. Bring Lanolin.  This was so helpful.

4. A boppy was so helpful and absolutely essential for my breastfeeding career. I’m SO thankful I brought mine to the hospital. We STILL use the boppy before naps and going to bed but we no longer use it for the other feedings throughout the day.

Apparel:

1. Nursing tanktops from Target are amazing.

2. Sleeping bra’s are fantastic for nighttime to hold the nursing pads but they are still comfy to sleep in. You just gotta find what is comfortable and works for you.

3. Nursing Bra’s have been absolutely essential for me. I wear wireless ones from Motherhood Maternity. If you go to the store, they will measure and fit you.  I bought mine around 37 weeks pregnant and the size stayed the same even after my milk came in.

 

 

Milk: 

1. Your breasts produce milk. (That’s pretty crazy, right?!?)

“The milk the baby receives when he begins breastfeeding is called the ‘foremilk,’ which is high in volume but low in fat. As the feeding progresses, the fat content of the milk rises steadily as the volume decreases. The milk near the end of the feeding is low in volume but high in fat and is called the ‘hindmilk’

I didn’t know this whenever I started breastfeeding. I didn’t know that there were different types of milk until I met with a lactation consultant about 5 days after B was born. B was constantly gassy and fussy when he was born. Turns out I was just feeding him the foremilk which is the gassy milk because I wasn’t keeping him on the same breast long enough. The lactation consultant taught me how to “empty my breast” which is when the baby drains all the milk in your breast that has been collecting in there between feedings. Your breast are actually never “empty” because your breast produce what is needed. So if your baby is hungry, your breast will continue to make milk.

So, the way I feed Bennett (and this is just me and what works for B and I) is that I typically only feed him on one breast per feeding (except at his bedtime feeding). This way I know he is getting plenty of hindmilk and not just foremilk from each breast. Bennett is normally good after one breast but do what works for you and your baby.

 

2. What the heck is a “letdown”

This term always confused me no matter how many things I read about it while I was pregnant.   Your letdown is when your milk starts flowing. Your baby has to stimulate the nipple for the milk to start to flow. Some people can feel their letdown (I can). Too much info? Ehhh. Who cares.

 

3.  When your milk “comes in”. 

So for weeks up until you give birth, your body starts producing colostrum. It’s super food for your baby before your milk comes in! So, that is what your baby eats for the first few days. For me however, my milk took 5 days to come in. This obviously results in concerned pediatricians because B lost 9% of his body weight before my milk came in. At 10% they start suggesting supplementing with formula.

When your milk comes in, your breast become engorged. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Your body doesn’t know how much milk to produce vs. how much your baby will eat. It’s all about supply and demand. SO your body typically makes too much in the beginning and then tapers off whenever it figures out how much your baby typically eats. It took about 3 or 4 months for my supply to finally regulate. You’re obviously not engorged all the time (just when you go longer usual between feedings).

A super helpful tip I received from a friend was to sleep with a towel under you for the first couple of weeks while your milk is coming in and your supply is regulating. Being sleep deprived from waking and feeding a baby multiple times a night and the last thing you will want to do is change wet sheets because you soaked your sheets in breastmilk. Sounds fantastic right?

 

 

 

Time:

There are several things I want to share about breastfeeding when it comes to how much time is invested in it. It truly is a selfless commitment. When I first brought B home, he would eat for 20-30 minutes for each feeding… every 2 hours….. so that’s only an hour and a half of not having a tiny baby attached to you. There were days when I felt like that was ALL I did…

I didn’t know that they get faster at eating. Around 3 or 4 months old, B finished eating in 4 minutes. It literally happened overnight. I thought he was starving or wasn’t getting enough milk or that something was wrong. NOPE. He just learned to be an efficient eater. He rarely eats longer than 10 minutes now. It’s awesome. 🙂

SO- if you feel like your baby is taking forever, hang in there. It gets better. 🙂 It’s not as cumbersome to feed out and about now knowing that I only have to sit/be/hold/squat wherever I am for like 6 minutes.

B still eats every 2-3 hours during the day but he is sleeping through the night so I have no complaints. One of the big things that I want to do before having baby #2 (gasp) is I want to NOT be breastfeeding for awhile. I want to have that feeling of being able to go wherever I want for a day without worrying if Bennett is going to starve.

Breastfeeding is a time commitment. Plain and simple.

It also has given me some of the most beautiful bonding moments with B. I will probably miss it whenever it’s over.

There are pros and cons to everything.

 

 

 

Nursing in Public. 

So, rock on if you nurse in public without a cover…. I prefer quiet more private places where I know I’m not going to flash someone or my belly isn’t going to be hanging out for the world to see. I am however really proud of myself for some of the places I have had to nurse Bennett. The number one out and about place for me to nurse Bennett is in the backseat of my car. It’s comfortable, I have double tinted windows and the radio. 🙂 Some of the other odd places I have nursed Bennett have been in changing rooms, Starbucks…. an office cubicle…. the list goes on.

People are usually really considerate when you ask is there a place for me to nurse my son. I was super impressed when I was at the mall and I went to motherhood maternity and asked them to use their dressing room to nurse B. They didn’t even bat an eye despite that they only have 4 dressing rooms and they were SLAMMED with people trying to use them. They graciously helped me pull my stroller in and closed the curtain behind me. It really made my day.

 

 

 

Feeding On Demand vs. Scheduling 

 

When B was first born, the first Ped I met with told me to not feed on demand… that I don’t want to encourage a baby who wants to eat every hour so I need to train him to space out his feedings.

So I did it. This also follows the babywise scheduling that I read before I was pregnant.

2 days later we had another weight check because my milk still hadn’t come in…. that Ped (Dr. Hughes, who is now our regular Ped) gave me the best advice I have ever had. Feed on Demand. 

I still was hesitant to follow her advice though. I like routines. I like scheduling. I wanted to train Bennett.

For the first couple of months, I struggled with trying to stick with a routine. There was so much stress with that. Having a crying baby who wants to eat “but it’s not time” was ridiculously stressful.

After about 3 months I found that Bennett had made his own schedule which was cool.

Then one night around 3 months after a 3 am feeding, I had a light bulb moment. I had just climbed back into bed after feeding Bennett and I was starving. My stomach hurt SO bad because I was SO hungry. I couldn’t even go back to sleep I was so hungry. So I went downstairs, grabbed a granola bar to put something in my stomach and then went to sleep.

LIGHT BULB MOMENT.

Is that how B feels in the middle of the night when he his hungry? That pain and discomfort is so real and I’m an ADULT. Who am I to tell him that he’s not hungry… that it’s not time to eat.

I feed on demand and have since then.

Babies will naturally space out their feedings the older that they get. Even though Bennett can eat whenever he wants, he has created his own schedule. Still, at 6 months I just shake my head that I didn’t do this from the start. There is so much relief and freedom I felt when I started feeding on demand. No more crying baby but “it’s not time”. Hungry? Cool, let me feed you and then back to whatever we were doing. No more, I can’t go there at that time because it will interfere with the schedule.

Again, this blog just reflects my life, family and what has ended up working for me. Do whatever works for you, your baby, your life, your family!!!

 

 

I know that this post is so long, but I just wanted to share a little bit on the topic since it’s such a prevalent one in my life right now.

 

Just like any other thing in my life, breastfeeding is a season and I’m thankful I have been able to breastfeed Bennett this year. I’m learning to enjoy the ups and downs, the easy and hards, the pros and cons of it all.

Happy Breastfeeding!

Yall. I stayed out until 1 am last night. 1 in the morning. An hour past midnight. Can you believe it? I have absolutely no regrets about the amount of sleep I missed out on.

Last night some of my other mama friends decided we all needed a ladies night in. SO- I fed Bennett and put him to bed and then out I went. It was kind of weird driving to my friend Liesel’s house. I don’t drive at night anymore… I have no reason to. That sounds so depressing… ha. Anyways, with Bennett tucked away in bed and Patrick there to watch him, I ventured out for my first ladies night out.

I can’t even begin to tell you how refreshing last night was. I laughed so hard. Like, the I can’t breath laughing. The “My face looks crazy and contorted” from laughing. It was an absolute blast. The conversations ebbed and flowed from funny to serious. It was great though, we talked for 6 hours… until one of us looked at our phones and were shocked that midnight had come and gone. Everyone was there to encourage each other in whatever we are facing as mom’s or wife’s. We are all in the same “trenches” but it does’t feel so lonely or overwhelmingly hard when you’re surrounded by other ladies to do motherhood with.

Friends make the days so much easier. My number one advice to any new mama is to find a group of ladies to have play dates with or ladies nights, or coffee dates. Get out of the house almost everyday. You will go crazy if you stay at home day after day. It turns into ground hogs day. Doing the same things over and over again, day after day just isn’t fun…. BUT mother requires you to do the same things over and over again… day after day. So, what do you do? How do you not go crazy? Friends. Connect with other like minded mama’s. Having friends to laugh while doing everyday life with makes everything so much better.

The best part about these ladies? We don’t need much to have a good time. Actually… all we need is a place to sit. And a place without noise restrictions…. because our laughing can get a little loud 😉

SO! Plan a ladies night if you haven’t had one recently. Lose a little sleep, it will be worth it.

OH and shout out to my hot hunky husband who watched B so I could go out. Thanks babe.

So – How not to go crazy as a stay at home mom? Or even as a Stay at home working mom (as half of us are) – GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Have play dates. Get connected with other moms. Go on a walk. Meet up at playgrounds. Just surround yourself with other awesome mama’s. 🙂 Happy Thursday yall! Now to go drink another cup of coffee… 🙂

Yesterday, Patrick took a picture of me and I thought, “Wow, I look like me again”.

Pregnancy has been a wild and amazing journey of seeing what my body can do. I have never shared a bare belly pregnancy picture, but I just wanted to emphasis that I was…. well…. HUGE. Like… legit watermelon in my stomach huge. The crazy part? That picture was taken at 37 weeks…. he still grew for another 2 almost 3 weeks before coming out!

^ 5 weeks pregnant

^ 37 weeks pregnant

^ A little over 2 weeks post birth.

^Almost 6 months post birth.

When I was pregnant, I saw story after story and image after image about flat bellies by 6 week check ups and immediately fitting back into pre pregnancy jeans. Totally possible, but didn’t happen for me. When I look at the picture of me going for my first ever walk with Bennett at 2 weeks post postpartum, I remember thinking… oh my gosh. I still look huge. Why didn’t I immediately shed all the weight??? What’s wrong with me?!?!

You know what? Absolutely nothing was wrong with me. I just grew a freaking human and pushed it out of my body!!! My body was bruised and battered during my birth. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life but the absolute most REWARDING and beautiful thing I have ever done in my life. Heck, I’ll do it again someday. I still have 14 more pounds on my body than when I started this journey, but again. I’m amazed at this journey. I don’t even want to call it weight loss progress. I just want to admire the journey I’ve been on in the past year and a half. Still on the journey to regain more muscle back and be able to run again but I just have to take it day by day.

Just documenting where I’ve been and where I’m at now. Thanks for reading this somewhat pointless post.

Ps. The two middle photos are photo’s I never thought I would share with the public! HA.

I love blogging because it let’s me look back. A year and a couple of days ago, I wrote this post and was seriously struggling with being so sick from pregnancy….

February 2014. Sick. Struggling. Pregnant.

February 2015. Celebrating snow with my little guy.

As I was rocking Bennett last night before bedtime, I thought, “I don’t remember what I did before I had Bennett.” I know it has only been 4.5 months with Bennett, but every night for 4.5 months I have done the same thing. Night after night, it’s the same thing. I just wanted to dedicate a blog post to what our schedule looks like at this age. It will be fun to look back when he’s a year old and say, “I remember that!” or “I forgot about that!” So, hang in there with me if you’re reading this. It’s nothing profound, just a day in the life of the Relbot Household.

Bennett,

You’re waking up after a solid night’s sleep anywhere between 6 and 7:30 am. You rarely wake up before 6 anymore which is welcomed with open arms.

Your dad and I drink our coffee at 5:45 until you wake up and then we hear you talking which means you’re ready to eat! Sometimes I creep down the stairs trying not to hit every creaky floor board in hopes of snagging a few extra minutes before having to go feed you.

Your dad and I jokingly fight over who gets to go into your room to get you up in the morning or after a nap! It’s one of our favorite things to do! As soon as you see us your face lights up and you squeal. It’s one of the sweetest things. Let’s not forget your “Achoo” syndrome. We noticed at around 2 weeks old, you always sneezed twice when the lighting drastically changes. Now it’s comical. I can bet money on the fact that you will sneeze when I turn the lights on. I can hear your dad laughing from our room every time.

You wake up, eat and sometimes go back to sleep until 8 or sometimes you decide you want to stay awake and hang out.

You’re taking 2 long naps and sometimes an additional cat nap throughout the day. Your first nap is between 1-2 hours and starts somewhere between 8 and 9. Your second nap is typically 2-3 hours sometime in the early afternoon. You then sometimes need a 30 min to 1 hour cat nap in the early evening depending on what time you woke up from your afternoon nap.

During the day we play in front of the fire, in the exersaucer, on your play mat. We run errands or have play dates. I’m itching for warmer weather so we can have picnics outside and I can take you to the park. We aren’t outside a lot because it’s so cold. Come on Spring! We are ready for you!

You love water. Bath time is so much fun for you!!! Your dad and I are going to buy a kiddie pool for the back porch for you so you can splash away! We are so excited to take you to the pool and beach this summer as well!

You are a rolling machine. You rarely spend time on your back anymore. As soon as we lay you down, you flip to your stomach and start grabbing everything around you like a little raccoon. You are learning to scoot and reach for things on your belly.Like an inchworm you move forward an inch at a time. You also decided that you’re ready to sit up on your own this week!!! It’s been so fun to see you hit these huge milestones. We are a little worried though about you becoming mobile so soon! The days of laying you down to walk away and do something have come to an end.

You love to smile but sometimes we have to work to get you to really laugh. You sometimes give us a sympathy chuckle… like, “Good try mom… but you’re not really funny.” When we do get you laughing though, it’s the absolute best!

I kiss you at least a hundred times a day. I love to smother your face in kisses and you’ll grab my cheeks and try and push me away while giggling. You’re extremely ticklish, especially on your back. You know when we say, “I’m going to get you” that you’re about to get tickled. You squeal and start frantically figuring how to back away, all with a huge toothless smile on your face.

You’re calm and love to observe everything. Large crowds and noisy atmospheres aren’t your favorite. You really really REALLY aren’t a fan of loud sudden sounds. Even when in the womb, you would get startled by loud sudden noises. We can’t help but chuckle when we unexpectantly startle you now. You love to be held and absolute love everything about music/singing. It captivates you!

By evening time, we have started to put you in your high chair during dinner time. We have started letting you lick a few foods because in a month we will start introducing solids! I’m a little nervous but overall excited for you. 🙂 After dinner, we spend most of our time on the floor with you. A couple of months ago we would start your bedtime at 8. You have showed us in the past month that you like 7:30 better now. We make sure that the last 30-45 minutes before your bedtime, your daddy and I give you undivided attention. No TV in the background, no cell phones, no computers, only us and you. Daddy will often play and sing on his guitar, we do super baby, tummy time, tickle fests. You’re very content on your own, so this way we make sure that you are getting some quality time with both of us every day. Even though your dad and I are both tired at the end of the day, our lives are so rich in love and joy with you in it. We talk about how awesome you are ALL the time. We can’t imagine our lives without you even though you were just a thought a little over a year ago.

Our bedtime routine started out of necessity but has grown into a fun family routine every night. No matter how fussy you have been prior to bedtime, you’re all smiles during the process. It’s like you know you’re about to go to bed! I do your diaper and creams then daddy puts on your pj’s while I get ready for bed myself. He might read you a book, walk you around upstairs or sometimes just rocks you. We then both pray for you, daddy gives hugs and kisses goodnight and then the lights go off and it’s time for bed! You nurse for close to 45 minutes at night even though during the day it’s only 1/4 of that!  It’s a nice way to wind down the day even though the rocking and darkness sometimes makes me want to fall asleep!

I lay you down in your crib, cover you up with the blanket that your (great) Aunt Debbie made you and if you’re not already asleep, you put yourself to sleep. It still blows my mind that you’ve always been that way. You shake your head back and forth and within a few minutes, you’re out for the night! Even though you sleep with a paci during your nap times, you never have wanted or taken it at night.

You’re constantly changing, growing and learning. It’s amazing to see your personality come out. We are so in love with you Bennett Journey! You have changed our lives forever and we couldn’t be happier.