I had to ask myself this question this week. Bennett and I had a rough afternoon one day this week. I don’t want to go into too many details because I have made a promise to myself never to share B in a negative light on any public forum. SO, let’s just say it was a tiring afternoon and once my little man finally went down for his afternoon nap, I retreated to my office, put my head in my hands and said, “This isn’t the mother I want to be.” The way I responded was NOT how I want to raise Bennett. So then the question arose, what kind of mother DO I want to be? 

I had to stop and really think about that. I honestly haven’t thought about it much. If how I responded to a tough situation is NOT how I WANT to respond, how DO I want to respond? So I got the idea to make a list. 

I wanted to write out anything and everything that I wanted to include in an outline of the type of mom I want to be. This might sound silly but I like to write stuff out, process it, reflect on it, tuck it away for future use. It’s another reason why I blog.

I asked myself what does the bible say about being a mom? I then resorted to google for some encouragement and some faster research than me scouring the bible book by book.

“Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5). In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. This word represents a special kind of “mother love.” The idea that flows out of this word is that of caring for our children, nurturing them, affectionately embracing them, meeting their needs, and tenderly befriending each one as a unique gift from the hand of God. ”

(I did look up Philoteknos in Strong’s Concordance and it doesn’t point to what that statement ^ says BUT maybe I just didn’t look hard enough? )

Original Word: φιλότεκνος, ον
Part of Speech: Adjective
Transliteration: philoteknos
Phonetic Spelling: (fil-ot’-ek-nos)
Short Definition: loving one’s children
Definition: loving one’s children.

I found this list:

Involvement – interacting, discussing, thinking, and processing life together (Ephesians 6:4)

Teaching – the Scriptures and a biblical worldview (Psalm 78:5-6; Deuteronomy 4:10; Ephesians 6:4)

Training – helping a child to develop skills and discover his/her strengths (Proverbs 22:6) and spiritual gifts (Romans 12:3-8and 1 Corinthians 12)

Discipline – teaching the fear of the Lord, drawing the line consistently, lovingly, firmly (Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15-17)

Nurture – providing an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection, unconditional love (Titus 2:4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Ephesians 4:29-32; 5:1-2; Galatians 5:22; 1 Peter 3:8-9)

Modeling with Integrity – living what you say, being a model from which a child can learn by “catching” the essence of godly living (Deuteronomy 4:9, 15, 23; Proverbs 10:9; 11:3; Psalm 37:18, 37).

Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/mothers-Christian.html#ixzz3YnWDq7Pt

I thought that was a pretty good biblical outline which could be the base and foundation of my “What type of mother do I want to be” outline.

I’m still working on the specifics of my list. I might share it once I finish it. I might not, who knows. I just wanted to encourage you to make a list (or even just think about) what type of mom you want to be. Or wife. Or employee. It really can be used for any aspect of life. What does the bible say about “XYZ” and use that as a base for your outline.

Make a list so whenever things get tough, you have a reminder. You can stay locked on exactly who you want to be. It’s easier to have specific statements to play in your head than to just think, “THIS ISN’T HOW I WANT TO RESPOND!”

I’m currently reading, Jesus, The gentle parent by L.R. Knost . It’s really good. There are some things that I can’t apply to my life like bed sharing BUT it has some really good stuff in it. My favorite quote so far:

“You are your children’s first taste of God, their first vision of grace. How you treat them in that capacity will inevitably affect their relationship with Christ. Choose love, because he is Love in the flesh. Choose gentleness, because he is the Gentle Shephard. Choose grace, because he died so that you could. Grace has a face… it’s yours.

“”Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice.”” – Phil 4:9″

I don’t want Bennett to grow up hearing me tell him how to act/respond/live by the bible and then I don’t do it myself. I want Bennett to see Christ’s love in the actions in my life and the way I parent and not just my words.

My words are empty until I myself do what I’m teaching. 

If I want Bennett to be patient, I need to be patient.

If I want Bennett to calmly respond, I need to be calm when I respond.

If I want Bennett to __________, I need to ________________.

The list is never ending.

I want to love Bennett like God loves me. What does the bible say about love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7The Message (MSG)

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Now insert your name. 

Ann never gives up.
Ann cares more for others than for self.
Ann doesn’t want what she doesn’t have.
Ann doesn’t strut,
Ann doesn’t have a swelled head,
Ann doesn’t force itself on others,
Ann isn’t always “me first,”
Ann doesn’t fly off the handle,
Ann doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Ann doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Ann takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Ann puts up with anything,
Ann trusts God always,
Ann always looks for the best,
Ann never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

So much of that can be applied to parenting.

Make a list, stay focused. You can do this, mama. There is so much good even on the hard days. 

Last week Patrick had spring break. He worked long days most of the week catching up on all things life but we decided that if the weather was good, we would go to the beach on Friday. Everyday we checked the weather in anticipation of rain or cold temperatures but to our surprise, Friday was calling for perfect beach weather.

I’m a planner. I have things on my schedule for days, weeks if not months. I like to go through every little detail in my head to make sure I know what to expect. As Patrick says, “You like to be spontaneous, but you have to plan to be spontaneous”. Exactly. I need to plan to not have any plans. It’s just who I am. So, when we were throwing around the idea of going to the beach for the day, of course my happy little heart starts to plan it all out.

Day beach trips are so different when taking a little with you. We did a few trips to Gigi’s when Bennett was 2 months old but this would be the first all day trip since Bennett now has an actual routine and knows what’s going on. I was really nervous about how Bennett would do with a 3 hour car ride, a trip to the aquarium, an afternoon at the beach, dinner at Something Fishy and then another 3 hours strapped in the car seat on the way home. That’s a long day for a adult, let alone a 6.5 month old.

Let me tell you. He absolutely rocked it. Ok more than rocked it. He blew our minds with how well he did. He didn’t cry once the entire day. I was shocked.

Bennett typically wakes between 6 and 7 and is up for an hour or two and then goes back down for a morning nap (which is when I typically blog, work, eat breakfast, clean etc). We decided that we would put him in the car and start the drive whenever he was ready to go back down for his morning nap. We filled up the gas tank the night before, packed everything in the car and so when it was time, it was literally just put a diaper on him and hit the road. No stopping for coffee, no morning buiscuit, do not pass go – just get on the road and drive. I wasn’t sure if he would last 3 hours in the car without us stopping. Heck, I normally have a rest stop so I can relieve my tiny bladder! We decided to drive for as long as possible but if he obviously needed a break from the carseat, we would stop.

He fell asleep about 30 minutes in and slept for an hour and a half and then was awake for the next hour. The fact that he was awake for an hour after his nap and STILL didn’t cry is what really surprised me. We didn’t have to stop and feed him or anything. We actually were able to even go through a drive through for lunch before the aquarium. When we got to the aquarium, I fed him in the car, flipped the backseat down and changed his diaper on it and then it was time for the aquarium.

The last time we went was in 2009! Check out the pre-marriage, pre-baby folk!

What a great trip 🙂

It was even more fun going with Bennett though. He LOVES fish. He wanted to touch them all which was really funny to watch.

After the aquarium, it was time for the beach. It was warm 80+ degrees outside with very few clouds in the sky.

I had packed 3 bags for the day. Mostly to stay organized but it actually worked out great.

Bennett’s diaper bag had everything he needed for diaper changes, the aquarium and toys for the car ride.

I used a Thirtyone utility tote for all of our clothes, a bag for all things sandy after the beach, my tablet and anything we might need for our car ride such as snacks etc.

I then used another Thirty one utility tote for all things beach. This included towels, toys for the beach, a fold up waterproof blanket thing for Bennett to lay on, flip flops, a hat, sunglasses, sunscreen etc. This way we just had 1 bag to bring to the beach with us.

We brought our tent, chairs, a cooler and then the one bag. I was concerned with how I was going to get all the stuff PLUS Bennett to the beach. It was better than expected. I wore Bennett, carried the utility tote and then Patrick wore the chairs (they can be worn like backpacks), carried the cooler in one hand the the tent in the other.

See the blue floral blanket thingy under the towels? Best 12 dollars I’ve spend. The sand literally rolled off of it unlike towels where it gets stuck in the fibers. I got it at walmart 🙂 It has a water repellent back so it also can be used in the grass at a park or something similar 🙂 It folds up into a nice square with a handle for easy transport.

You can see the ThirtyOne Utility tote I brought. It was REALLY easy to carry on my shoulder while wearing Bennett.

Our Setup. Some people buy camping stuff…. we buy beach gear. We bought a beach tent this year and it was the best addition EVER to our set up. I literally could spend all day at the beach now because the tent blocks the sun AND the wind. It was a great place for Bennett to spend so he didn’t get too hot or needed a break from the windy beach. It easily fit our cooler, both chairs and a large area for Bennett to lay/play.

There was literally no one on the beach so breastfeeding was an ease hahah.

Bennett did have a little bit of trouble falling asleep with all the noise and distractions. Once he did though, Patrick and I threw a Frisbee around, hunted for shark teeth (as usual) and just enjoyed a relaxing 45 minutes of US time.

We spent almost 4 hours on the beach before we packed up and headed out to Something Fishy. I don’t have any pictures from dinner because we left our phones in the car (on purpose). It was a beautiful day. Bennett did amazing and it was so refreshing to finally get back to the beach.

Bennett fell asleep about 6:30 in the car on the way home and slept the entire way. He was awake for about 45 minutes when we got home, changed him into pj’s, wiped him down from the day and started our typical bedtime routine. I’m surprised that he still slept through the night considering he technically went to bed at 6:30.

I’m so excited for more beach trips this summer. Thankful for the memories that were made on our very first beach trip with Bennett Journey.

Today was fantastic. It was so fantastic that I wanted to blog about it!!

It started off with Patrick being home this morning. That is always great. 🙂 We didn’t get a kidless coffee date but a cute little boy was in a great mood when he woke up, so his smiles and giggles made up for the early wake up call.

B took great naps today which allowed me to post a blog post that i’ve been working on for weeks.

The best part of the day was definately this afternoon. Bennett went down for a nap and Patrick and I got to eat lunch together and hang out for a bit. Patrick had planned on taking Bennett to run errands with him this afternoon so for the 2nd time in 6 months, I would be home alone.

So after B woke up from him 2 hour nap (yessssss), I fed him, packed his diaper bag and off they went.

I had two glorious hours to myself. I originally planned to just veg out on the couch for 2 hours but after watching a 45 minute show and painting my nails, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted go on a run. I’m thankful that B does well when I take him on runs but there is something about just being out there by myself, headphones in and not a care in the world. It was fantastic seeing how it hasn’t happened since Bennett has been here. I’ve gone to the gym but haven’t ran outside by myself… since well… like 3 months pregnant.

Patrick and Bennett arrived home and Patrick said I had mail. I never get mail! It was from Amazon and I was racking my brain for what I had ordered and couldn’t remember anything! So, I open it up and a set of 4 coasters were in there. You see, sweet Liv had eaten one of my cork ones a few days earlier. It really wasn’t a big deal! They were dollar store coasters!! Catherine had mentioned that they had bamboo coasters that didn’t break whenever Liv chewed on them. I didn’t even think twice about them until I opened up the package.

My heart is full.

Finally, we went to get Patricks hair cut in preparation for Easter tomorrow. 🙂 Can we saw bow chica wow wowoowwwwww. Favorite haircut yet!

I feel refreshed after an afternoon to myself. I feel loved from the sweet gift from a sweet friend. I feel energized after being able to soak up some vitamin D while on my run. I feel thankful for a day full of refreshing moments. The house is clean, the dishes are put away, I’m about to fold some laundry and I can honestly say that today was a good day.