I love blogging because it let’s me look back. A year and a couple of days ago, I wrote this post and was seriously struggling with being so sick from pregnancy….

February 2014. Sick. Struggling. Pregnant.

February 2015. Celebrating snow with my little guy.

As I was rocking Bennett last night before bedtime, I thought, “I don’t remember what I did before I had Bennett.” I know it has only been 4.5 months with Bennett, but every night for 4.5 months I have done the same thing. Night after night, it’s the same thing. I just wanted to dedicate a blog post to what our schedule looks like at this age. It will be fun to look back when he’s a year old and say, “I remember that!” or “I forgot about that!” So, hang in there with me if you’re reading this. It’s nothing profound, just a day in the life of the Relbot Household.

Bennett,

You’re waking up after a solid night’s sleep anywhere between 6 and 7:30 am. You rarely wake up before 6 anymore which is welcomed with open arms.

Your dad and I drink our coffee at 5:45 until you wake up and then we hear you talking which means you’re ready to eat! Sometimes I creep down the stairs trying not to hit every creaky floor board in hopes of snagging a few extra minutes before having to go feed you.

Your dad and I jokingly fight over who gets to go into your room to get you up in the morning or after a nap! It’s one of our favorite things to do! As soon as you see us your face lights up and you squeal. It’s one of the sweetest things. Let’s not forget your “Achoo” syndrome. We noticed at around 2 weeks old, you always sneezed twice when the lighting drastically changes. Now it’s comical. I can bet money on the fact that you will sneeze when I turn the lights on. I can hear your dad laughing from our room every time.

You wake up, eat and sometimes go back to sleep until 8 or sometimes you decide you want to stay awake and hang out.

You’re taking 2 long naps and sometimes an additional cat nap throughout the day. Your first nap is between 1-2 hours and starts somewhere between 8 and 9. Your second nap is typically 2-3 hours sometime in the early afternoon. You then sometimes need a 30 min to 1 hour cat nap in the early evening depending on what time you woke up from your afternoon nap.

During the day we play in front of the fire, in the exersaucer, on your play mat. We run errands or have play dates. I’m itching for warmer weather so we can have picnics outside and I can take you to the park. We aren’t outside a lot because it’s so cold. Come on Spring! We are ready for you!

You love water. Bath time is so much fun for you!!! Your dad and I are going to buy a kiddie pool for the back porch for you so you can splash away! We are so excited to take you to the pool and beach this summer as well!

You are a rolling machine. You rarely spend time on your back anymore. As soon as we lay you down, you flip to your stomach and start grabbing everything around you like a little raccoon. You are learning to scoot and reach for things on your belly.Like an inchworm you move forward an inch at a time. You also decided that you’re ready to sit up on your own this week!!! It’s been so fun to see you hit these huge milestones. We are a little worried though about you becoming mobile so soon! The days of laying you down to walk away and do something have come to an end.

You love to smile but sometimes we have to work to get you to really laugh. You sometimes give us a sympathy chuckle… like, “Good try mom… but you’re not really funny.” When we do get you laughing though, it’s the absolute best!

I kiss you at least a hundred times a day. I love to smother your face in kisses and you’ll grab my cheeks and try and push me away while giggling. You’re extremely ticklish, especially on your back. You know when we say, “I’m going to get you” that you’re about to get tickled. You squeal and start frantically figuring how to back away, all with a huge toothless smile on your face.

You’re calm and love to observe everything. Large crowds and noisy atmospheres aren’t your favorite. You really really REALLY aren’t a fan of loud sudden sounds. Even when in the womb, you would get startled by loud sudden noises. We can’t help but chuckle when we unexpectantly startle you now. You love to be held and absolute love everything about music/singing. It captivates you!

By evening time, we have started to put you in your high chair during dinner time. We have started letting you lick a few foods because in a month we will start introducing solids! I’m a little nervous but overall excited for you. 🙂 After dinner, we spend most of our time on the floor with you. A couple of months ago we would start your bedtime at 8. You have showed us in the past month that you like 7:30 better now. We make sure that the last 30-45 minutes before your bedtime, your daddy and I give you undivided attention. No TV in the background, no cell phones, no computers, only us and you. Daddy will often play and sing on his guitar, we do super baby, tummy time, tickle fests. You’re very content on your own, so this way we make sure that you are getting some quality time with both of us every day. Even though your dad and I are both tired at the end of the day, our lives are so rich in love and joy with you in it. We talk about how awesome you are ALL the time. We can’t imagine our lives without you even though you were just a thought a little over a year ago.

Our bedtime routine started out of necessity but has grown into a fun family routine every night. No matter how fussy you have been prior to bedtime, you’re all smiles during the process. It’s like you know you’re about to go to bed! I do your diaper and creams then daddy puts on your pj’s while I get ready for bed myself. He might read you a book, walk you around upstairs or sometimes just rocks you. We then both pray for you, daddy gives hugs and kisses goodnight and then the lights go off and it’s time for bed! You nurse for close to 45 minutes at night even though during the day it’s only 1/4 of that!  It’s a nice way to wind down the day even though the rocking and darkness sometimes makes me want to fall asleep!

I lay you down in your crib, cover you up with the blanket that your (great) Aunt Debbie made you and if you’re not already asleep, you put yourself to sleep. It still blows my mind that you’ve always been that way. You shake your head back and forth and within a few minutes, you’re out for the night! Even though you sleep with a paci during your nap times, you never have wanted or taken it at night.

You’re constantly changing, growing and learning. It’s amazing to see your personality come out. We are so in love with you Bennett Journey! You have changed our lives forever and we couldn’t be happier. 

I remember the first month that I had Bennett. What a hard month that was. Becoming a first time mom is such a learning curve. You’re physically trying to recover from birth, sleep deprived, and on an emotional roller coaster as your lovely hormones are regulating. Oh those lovely hormones.

It’s funny, when you have a kid you start thinking of things that you would have never thought about before. Like, who are going to be my kids friend? Will anyone come to  his birthday parties? Will I have any mommy friends?

When I got married at 19, there weren’t many people my age going through the same stuff. There were a lot of times I felt lonely at first. Patrick is my best friend but women need other women. There is beauty in the bond that happens between women when you know that they are going through the same thing you are going through or have gone through.

I eventually made married friends but I still struggled with the fact that most of my married friends were starting families or already had kids.  I just wasn’t there yet. It didn’t mean I didn’t have amazing friends but I just couldn’t relate to what they were going through. I just didn’t understand what life with kids looked like.

Fast forward four years. Hello Bennett! He arrived and in sheer exhaustion I only had 2 and a half days with Patrick before he HAD to return to school and I was on my own during the day. Not only was this terrifying simply because I was being left alone with a tiny newborn who I wasn’t sure what to do with, but physically I was in so much pain. I was on pain killers, unable to walk up or down the stairs without my legs trembling, unable lift a car seat…. it was rough. My labor was hard. My body was doing the best it could to recover but I struggled in the beginning.

When Patrick returned to school, I was lonely. Here I was physically unable to leave the house, terrified to leave the house and so I stayed home. By myself. With a baby who didn’t talk back to me. I had visitors, yes but I was still lonely. My hormones made everything more intense but the first month or so I struggled with anxiety and loneliness. After the first couple of weeks, I remember going to target for groceries and finding conversation with the cashier to be so refreshing. I didn’t care who you were, I was just happy to talk to someone and be out of my house. I was so in love with Bennett but I was also so so lonely. I needed friends.

Fast forward to 4 months. These past few weeks, I look and see how different my life is now. I’m so thankful for my birth photographer Amanda who kept inviting me to play dates, group get togethers/events, mommy night out. Even when I declined, she kept inviting. I remember my first play date. The sheer excitement I had from sitting with a group of women who were like minded and just talking was the best.thing.ever. Thank you Amanda for bringing me into such a beautiful world of friendships. I am so thankful for you.

I find myself surrounded with beautiful women and moms. The best part? We are all like minded. Being able to relate to other moms rather that be on cloth diapering, essential oils, chiropractic care, our babies age, WHATEVER the topic… there is so much comfort in those friendships.

Just yesterday, I sat on the floor of a new mama friends apartment and we talked for hours. HOURS! My heart was so full. We actually bonded over facebook because I knew her husband. I sent her a message because I found out she was cloth diapering and a friendship blossomed from such a simple common factor. This was close to a year ago! She just moved to NC, we just officially met in person for the first time and I couldn’t be more thankful! Catherine, you’re a gem.

Moms need mom friends. Motherhood can be lonely. We get caught in the routine of day to day life and trying to stay on top of laundry, our kids needs, grocery shopping, work and all the other tasks of a mom and then we find ourselves lonely. Husbands are great but there is something about having friendships with other women.

We find ourselves craving comradery with other women… at least I did. The definition of comradery couldn’t be more accurate to my views on having mom friends.

1. Comradery is the spirit of friendship and community in a group, like the comradery of soldiers at war who keep each other upbeat despite the difficulty of their circumstances.

Motherhood is hard. Surrounding yourself with other women to keep you upbeat despite the difficulty of your circumstances is beautiful. You shouldn’t do motherhood alone. Don’t let loneliness overwhelm you. I pray that you are surrounded by other mom’s and women who can love on you and encourage you on the hard days of being a mom. Or rejoice with you on the not so hard ones.

I found a village. Four months ago I was painfully lonely. Today? I am blessed. I am so thankful to be surrounded by such lovely ladies to do this thing called motherhood with.

I pray you find your village. It’s a beautiful place to raise children. If you need a village, my village is always open.

Hello Monday.

I am in the middle of a marathon week of appointments, sessions and life. It has literally been non stop.

I took this video last week and just wanted to post it to the blog.

Happy Monday y’all.

Have you ever read about Mark Gungor’s Flag page? Patrick and I went to a marriage conference a few years ago at our church and it was such a great experience.

Mark Gungor’s flag page fits me to a tee. I’m about to show you more about who I am and my heart than most people would know without asking…

You can click on them to make them bigger to read.

So I know that is a lot of information about myself that you might just sound like a whole bunch of mumble jumble but if I had to describe myself and my heart, my flag page is the perfect representation. Ok ok. What does all of that have to do with anything? Everything.

Did you see that my home country is perfect country? Do you know what I struggle with the most? Feeling like I constantly am failing perfection. I like my house to be clean, my life to be planned, things to be on schedule. That would be the most ideal situation. Real life though? I’m constantly cleaning with the feeling of never completing it. My dinner menu is constantly changing because schedules change and unpredictable things happen. My craft projects take weeks to complete and baking takes hours. Can I be honest? I struggle with becoming frustrated when the plan changes.

I read a blog about how we have to stop judging other moms because we all have different strengths and weaknesses. This was based off of a few other blog posts that were floating around about how kids are messy so it’s ok to have your house messy because it means you’re a real mom who spends more time with her kids then worrying about her home. You see, that’s not fair. I thrive and am a better mom/person when my home is clean. I can’t function whenever there is stuff everywhere. It’s just who I am though and it doesn’t mean I’m not a real mom spending less time with my kid. 

I’m sorry but can I just punch whoever started this “you’re a real mom only if you do xyz” thing? Gosh. Stupid.

I love to blog. Does that make me a real mom? I am a stay at home mom. Does that make me any more of a mom than the woman who goes to work full time? NO. I birthed Bennett. Does that make me any more of a mom than someone who adopts? If you even considered any other answer than no, go ahead and just march yourself to time-out and sit there for a while.

I think I’m getting off on a tangent, but I just wanted to share with you one of my struggles with Mamahood. That feeling of failing. Ever feel like you’re failing your kids? Your husband? I put so much pressure on myself which then turns into me putting unfair pressure on Patrick to have everything perfect that when it’s not, I feel like I’m drowning in failure. I beat myself up and that’s just not cool.

Patrick does an amazing job at encouraging me when he can tell I’m starting to feel like it’s all falling a part. There is nothing wrong with liking stuff a certain way but when I start telling myself that I’m failing as a mom and wife, well that’s just not how God see’s me.

A few weeks ago, Patrick went to bed early because he wasn’t feeling well. Bennett’s bedtime came and I walked upstairs to this:

“Thanks for being a great mom. I love you so much” 

I then turned it into this:

It was just the reminder I needed and still need to hear. I feel like I fail as a mom to Bennett when I get frustrated with him. It’s over stupid stuff like when he scratches the mess out of me with his talons. Why are they long though? Because I really hate cutting them. Sigh. Babies shouldn’t be born with nails in my opinion.

Anyways, just wanted to have an honest Relbot Mamahood moment. Everything is a learning process when you become a mom. It’s constantly “yes this works… no that didn’t work. Wow that was an epic fail.”

I’m thankful that I have a husband who reminds me that even though I feel like I’m failing, often I’m not. If you’re struggling with the thoughts of failure, know that most likely you’re not.

If you read my blog, you might remember that Patrick and I have a 4 year old habit that we need to break now that Bennett has arrived. What is it?

Biting our nails? No. Eating too much little caears pizza? Maybe… How about eating dinner in our living room. Yes.

Patrick and I have eaten dinner on our couches since day one of marriage. We MAYBE have eaten at our kitchen table 5 times in the past 4.5 years. Our table has only been a home to snail mail, our aloe plant Marley and the various arts and craft projects I embark on.

Patrick and I both grew up eating dinner around a kitchen table. We want Bennett to grow up eating dinner aroudn the kitchen table. What is hard though is breaking the habit of watching our favorite show while eating dinner on the couch. Even when I was 38 weeks pregnant, I would sit on the floor of our living room and use the coffee table to eat off of. It never even crossed my mind that maybe sitting at a table might make things easier. It’s just what we have always done.

We will be introducing food to Bennett once he turns 6 months so we knew when Bennett turned 4 months we needed to start introducing our new family routine. So this week I placed Bennett’s high chair at the table and made it a purpose to plan dinner at the table that night.

Night one? Weird but good.

Night two? Completely forgot. We ate dinner in the living room as usual.

Last night? After a stressful day we reluctantly sat at the table but we did it!

You might not understand why this even deserves a blog post but it’s a big deal to us! It’s just another Relbot Adventure that we have embarked on. It will be fun to look back on this post when Bennett is 5 and we have forgotten the days of couch eating while watching our favorite shows.