I saw the most fantastic video floating on Facebook a few days ago. I’m not usually one to watch and share things or look at all the little video’s that are on there now a days. However, I decided to click the link and watch the video and well… you should watch it for yourself too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me9yrREXOj4

So perfect, right??? It’s such a great reminder that no matter how you decide to raise your child, we are all parents. We all (hopefully) have the best intentions in our hearts for our little ones. I forget where I read it, probably another blog, but as mom’s we are putting so much pressure on ourselves because of social media, pinterest inspired crafts, spotless and smudge free homes, and filters that make our lives look picture perfect. Anyways, it got me thinking of some advice I received over the summer from a mama of five who are ALL under the age of 5!!! Her words spoke to me then but now that Bennett has arrived, they resonate even louder.

“Figure out what works and doesn’t work for your family and stick to that”

Ok, those might not be her EXACT words but that is what I took away from it. For example, she doesn’t attend birthday parties. With 5 children and birthday parties always on the weekend, she values her limited family time on the weekends over going to tons of birthday parties.

It works for her family so that is what she does and she doesn’t apologize for it. 

The stuff that  worked for Patrick and I as a family has changed since Bennett has arrived. There has been one thing that works for our family and that is Bennett’s bedtime routine. From day one we have kept the same time and bedtime routine with very little exceptions. I guard this routine with everything I have in me. Why? Because it works for my family. Bennett is a great sleeper and I don’t operate very well with very little sleep. Never have. Probably never will. I am pretty flexible throughout the day with what time he eats, naps, does…. but come 7:45. I’m strict. I’m stubborn. I don’t want to compromise the routine. Bennett and I are both getting a good nights rest and it is what works for us.

Before Bennett was born, I read babywise. I was armed and ready to sleep train, cry it out and get him on a schedule. Then he was born and I decided it just wasn’t for me and my family. It was actually one event that changed it all for both Patrick and I. Around a week old, we had done our bedtime routine, put him in his crib, had the monitors on and went to bed. Fifteen minutes later, I hear Bennett crying. I was exhausted and sleep deprived. He’s a week old, eating throughout the night and we knew that co-sleeping wasn’t for us. I thought, “Hey, this is a great time to let him cry it out (a babywise term)”. He cried for a few minutes and then stopped. I felt relief and then something seemed off. I looked at the monitor, he was kind of flailing and I decided to go check on him even though he wasn’t crying anymore.

Sheer panic as I went into his room. He had spit up and was gagging on his vomit. Like, trying to gasp for air, spit up all around him, eyes turning red, not breathing. I screamed for Patrick, and after some desperate attempts to clear his airways, he was fine and I broke down in tears. I ignored him when he needed me. I let him cry it out when he was actually crying to tell me something was wrong. Patrick and I decided that crying it out wasn’t for us that night. Babywise didn’t work for us. It probably could but we have decided it’s not the path we want to take. That’s just us though! Do what works for YOU!

Bennett has never been much of a crier. He fusses occasionally but normally when he cries, it’s because something is wrong or he’s hungry. From the beginning, he has put himself to sleep without crying. It’s not due to anything we have done as parents, it’s just his personality. We haven’t had to do any sleep training and he typically sleeps for 9 pm to 5 am now before eating and then going back to bed until around 7:30. The only credit I can give to him being a great sleeper, other than Bennett just being Bennett, is our bedtime routine. We make sure that at 7:45 we start his routine. Both Patrick and I get him ready for bed every night, we then pray for him and finally I feed him and put him in his crib for the night. I then get ready and go to bed right after he is down. I normally am asleep by 9:30. Every. Single. Night. It’s the same but it works for us.

We have had to decline going to events or leave early because it interferes with his bedtime and my “bedtime”. I don’t operate well on little sleep and since Bennett is sleeping so well at night, I rather do what works for us than to take a chance. I rather feel great during the day than stay up late or have Bennett miss his bedtime and neither of us sleep well. Bennett and I both are morning people. 5 am? No problem. 4:30 am? It’s not the worst time of the day for me. 11 at night? I think the world is ending.  We start to fall apart at night. We get cranky, tired and melt downs (from both of us) are highly likely.

Some of the best advice I have received is to do what works for your family and don’t feel guilty about it! Just don’t! I have spent too many nights feeling guilty about sticking to my guns about his bedtime but it is what works for us! Hey, when he gets older, it might change but for now… this is what we do. I might be a semi-crunchy mama, but it’s what works for my family. We do cloth diapers, baby wearing, amber teething jewelry, essential oils…. whatever. It is what works for my family. Do what works for yours! We are all parents with the best intentions in our hearts!

So, if you’re struggling with guilt about doing something that works for your family because it isn’t what everyone else is doing. DON’T FEEL GUILTY! Do whatever works for your family. You’re going to be the best judge of what works for in your household.

Happy parenting with whatever works for you and your household 🙂