My husband calls me determined but it also could be called stubborn. Either way, when I set my mind on something, I do whatever I have to, to make sure it happens.

For example, I’m not the girl to make hair appointments months in advance or keep to a regular hair care schedule. I get an urge to get my hair cut and I typically call the salon and get a same day appointment with whoever is available. Well, the last time I got the urge to cut my hair it was on a Sunday. Usually this isn’t a big deal because my typical salon is open and usually slow on Sundays. Well, I called and the first available appointment was on a Wednesday. Nope, wasn’t going to work. I needed one that day for several reasons. One – I had Patrick with me all day to watch Bennett. Two – I wanted a haircut that day and not three days later. Darn you Spa by Mitchells for being busy! I called probably 10 other salons before finally finding one that was open and had same day availability. I won. I succeeded. My determination prevailed and I was able to get my hair cut. 🙂

So, this past Saturday I had the major urge to chop off my hair again. This time I REALLY wanted a haircut though. So, i called Spa by Mitchells and got a busy tone. I hung up, tried again. “The number you are trying to reach is temporarily unavailable, please hang up and try again”. Hung up and tried again. I repeated this probably fifteen times. I waited 30 minutes and then tried another 15 times. All the while, Patrick is telling me to stop trying because obviously their phone wasn’t working. Nope, not going to stop until I get my haircut! I finally call their other location to find out why their Raleigh locations phone wasn’t working. Well… SURPRISE! The store had shut down. Permanently. WHAT?! So, then I posted on WF community page asking for other Salon recommendations. Patrick then jokes by saying, “When you really want something, you do whatever it takes to make it happen…. like calling a disconnected number 30 times in hopes that it won’t be broken the next time you call!” We both laughed, but it’s true. I’m determined… or stubborn.Whatever you want to call it. Either way, I ended up finding a new salon and will be chopping my hair off tomorrow. 🙂

So, what does getting my haircut have to do with anything? Well, more so the characteristic of determination and how it fits into my life and our family. Let me see if I can make a smooth segway into what I’m trying to get across. So after Patrick pointed out my determination, I started thinking about how I can use my determination and how I already use it for other things than getting myself a haircut. Obviously, I use my determination when I run Miss Jee’s but since I’m currently on maternity leave, this will be more about my family life.

Two nights ago, Bennett woke up an hour and a half before his usual middle of the night feeding. So here it was, 2 am and I was wide awake. Usually I surf pinterest, instagram, or facebook because they are mindless activities and half the time I’m only awake enough to change a diaper and feed B. Well, I don’t know where this came from, but I started thinking about what the vision for my life was. What were my goals? What do I want to focus my determination on? Patrick is finishing up his schooling in 8 short months so we have been talking a lot about what’s next for him… but my question is what’s next for me? I’m a mom now. What is God calling ME to do in this new season. I couldn’t stop thinking about it even after I had crawled back into bed.

Last night while laying on the floor with Bennett, I hesitantly admitted to Patrick, “I feel like I have no vision for my life. I feel like I have no goals that I’m working towards.” That is hard for me to admit for two reasons. One, I’m the type of person who likes a plan. Two, it’s admitting that I don’t have it all together. My husband had a vision for his life. He saw that his last job wasn’t taking him towards that vision so he changed it. In my eyes, he’s brave, confidant and knows what he wants. He is an encouragement for me to dream big. Work towards my dreams. But what is my dream? What is my vision? It hasn’t been this way forever but my vision and goals have changed since having Bennett and I guess I am at a loss at what this next chapter is suppose to look like. My dreams and goals are changing and morphing and I’m still figuring out how to properly outline my new vision.

So, as I am admitting that I’m lacking a clear vision for myself, Patrick makes a profound statement about the vision for our family. You see, Patrick has a vision for his life, I have one for my life and they should cohesively come together to help form one for our family. With two separate visions that don’t intertwine in some way it creates di-vision. Division. Patrick and I started stating things we want to do personally and things we want to do as a family. We started shaping and forming the vision for our family now that Bennett is here. How can we serve the Lord passionately as a family? As individuals? Realistically, what does that look like? Just going to church on Sunday? No. So what does that mean? What do we need to do to make our vision of serving the Lord as a family, come to life. What are our goals as a family? What are my goals as a mom? As a wife? As a daughter to the King?

I’m not saying I have figured this all out, but I’m thinking about it and wanted to share. What is the vision for your family? What do you want to do in this life as a family? What do you want to do personally? Do you have goals you’re working towards? Do you need goals? Do you need to tweak your vision or change your goals?

How can I use my determination to accomplish the vision that we decide for our family? How can I use my determination when it comes to loving people? All things I’m thinking about.

I want to be a mom who shows the love of Christ through my parenting. Who raises a son who fearlessly loves and serves the Lord. I want to be a wife who supports, encourages and loves her husband without expectations. I want to be the woman who serves without reserve. Forgives like Christ forgave. Loves without hesitation. I want to be the business woman who shows Christs love in every encounter with clients.

I want to faithfully take our family wherever God calls us, without doubt or fear. 

Am I successful at all of those things every time? No.

They are all things I’m working towards that will shape the overall vision I have for my life.