Is Folgers in your cup? Actually it’s choconuts coffee in my cup with french vanilla creamer…. while sitting in bed next to my husband.

Fun fact, when Patrick met me, I was working in a coffee shop. Even funnier fact? I didn’t drink coffee. I didn’t drink coffee until 2010? Once I started drinking coffee though, that has been our go-to date for years. Need a quick date? Coffee it is. Need a long in depth conversation? Coffee it is. Want to people watch? Coffee it is. Want to surprise the hubby to just say I love you? Coffee it is. Saturday mornings? Yard sales and coffee. Going into labor? Breuggars and coffee. Coffee Coffee Coffee.

When I was a nanny and Patrick had the typical 9-5 job, we would wake up at 5 am and sit in bed and drink our coffee together. Sometimes we would talk, sometimes we would surf the web on our phones but either way, it was the best part of waking up. Over the past  year or two, I have given up coffee several times, switched to tea or didn’t drink anything. We lost our 5 am dates over the years and chose to sleep in. We stayed up later at night and therefore, we slept in longer.

With Bennett here, everything is different. Patrick leaves for school, drives an hour, spends all day in class then has to run his company whenever school let’s out. By the time he’s home, we eat dinner, watch a show, hang out with Bennett and then it’s time to start bedtime. (7:45 or 8 pm). After bedtime, I crawl into bed and crash after I set my alarm for B and I’s 3:30 am nursing session.

What’s missing? Quality time with just my guy. My big guy. Having a kid consumes your world. Everything revolves around them. We have heard for years though, make sure your marriage comes first but sometimes that is easier said than done. Last week, Patrick came into Bennett’s room while I was nursing him for the last time of the night. He walked in and asked me for a coffee date the next morning. A million reasons of why I should have said no ran through my mind. Does he realize that I wake up at 3:30 everyday? Does he realize that I’m tired. Does he realize that I could be sleeping. Let’s get real, I love sleep. I NEED SLEEP. But then it hit me. He’s pursuing me. He wants to spend time with just ME. He could sleep an extra hour but instead is choosing to wake up at 5 am, shower and get ready for his day and then spend a kid free hour with me.

I said yes. He said good. He had already set the timer on the coffee maker and we were set for a date…. in our room with hushed voices and morning breath. The next morning was well worth trading in an hour of sleep. We talked and it didn’t revolve around Bennett. We drank our coffee and enjoyed each other’s company. We were on a date that cost us virtually nothing but was the freshest breath of air. It was so refreshing that we have kept it up. We have our morning coffee dates before the world wakes up. Before Bennett wakes up. Before the sun decides to rise and start the day.

As B becomes older, we will be able to actually go out for coffee dates or dinner but for right now, this is what we will do. I make the coffee the night before and Patrick brings it up to me in the morning after he showers. We will have a date, every day. 1 uninterrupted hour of just my guy and I. Another perk was for the first time in weeks, I was waking up to silence instead of Bennett crying to eat. I wasn’t rushing around, trying to pee, trying to put my hair in a bun, trying to not stumble over my feet as I make my way to his room. Coffee dates remind me that our marriage will come first so that we can be the best parents possible for Bennett. We will put ourselves first so that Bennett can see a healthy and happy marriage as he grows up. That might mean sacrificing sleeping an extra hour to make it happen, but it will happen. It’s worth it. It’s SO worth it. I’m so thankful for a man who will ask me on a coffee date even after 4 years of marriage. Knowing him, he’ll still be asking me on coffee dates after 80 years of marriage.

The best part of waking up is coffee in bed with my husband.

I pray for many more years of refreshing coffee dates with my guy.

We woke up to watch the sun rise on our cruise… and to drink coffee.